Family Law

Tips to Help You Talk to Your Kids About Your Divorce

December 16, 2021 by David Betz

Divorcing parents need to prepare a plan, leave out the messy details, and be open to different reactions and questions from their kids.

Talking about your divorce with your kids can be difficult and painful. However, it’s essential to tell them as early as possible before they hear it from someone else. But how do you do it? Here are some steps you and your soon-to-be-ex should take to ease the process.

Tips to Talk to Your Kids About Your Divorce

The following are some of the tips on how to tell your children about your divorce:

Prepare a Plan – It would help plan when, how, and what you will tell your children. For example, choose a day that allows for family time, like a weekend. Also, don’t communicate the news when the kids are sad or during birthdays or holidays. Instead, choose a time that would bring the least impact. Additionally, choose a time when you and your spouse are unlikely to become angry with each other.
Keep the Message Clear & Simple – Parents should leave out messy details that could make the children think that they may cause the divorce. As a parent, think about what your children can easily understand at this stage. If you’re unsure about what to tell your kids, many professionals, including divorce attorneys, can guide you on how to do it right.
Talk to Your Children Together – If possible, talk to your children together. This will prevent some of your children from discovering the news first and bearing the burden of keeping your divorce status a secret.
Expect Mixed Reactions – Children will react differently to the news. Some may have tantrums, while others will refuse to ask any questions. As a parent, you should be prepared for these reactions. Don’t argue with them. Instead, understand your children’s reactions and offer ways to assist them in dealing with the news so that it hurts less.
Be Open to Questions – Some children will have many questions. Therefore, answer kids’ questions and respond to their emotional needs. This will encourage them to ask more questions when they arise.
Make them Aware of Future Arrangements – It’s essential to include your children in every step of the divorce process to avoid anyone feeling lost. Make sure you involve your children in all your future arrangements. If both parents agree to share time with the kids, let the kids know about the schedule. Also, don’t make promises that are not true or promise things that you may not be able to do in the future.

Contact Divorce Attorneys at The Betz Law Firm

If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, contact the divorce attorneys at Betz Law Firm. We will handle your divorce case and protect your rights and interests. We’ll also share with you tips on how to help your children cope with your divorce or separation. Contact us today to book an appointment.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Dec 21, 2021 @ 10:37 pm

4 Strategies for Successful Co-Parenting During Thanksgiving

November 5, 2021 by David Betz

Co-parenting is not easy, but with the right tools, you and your ex can implement successful strategies when planning for the holidays.

Being separated or divorced from your spouse and sharing children brings a new issue in your life. Holidays are incredibly delicate times when your kids might feel the impact of your separation a little more than usual and when the stress level arises for both you and your ex.

Co-parenting is not easy, but with the right tools and, most of all, the intention of making your kids’ lives as best as possible, you and your ex can implement successful strategies when dealing with school problems, family holidays, or vacations.

Here are four strategies for successful co-parenting during Thanksgiving.

1. Plan Ahead

If you were kind of making it along the way before the divorce, not planning anything, things need to change. When co-parenting, it’s crucial that you know what’s about to happen and how to split the tasks and responsibilities between both of you.

Take a moment to talk to your ex about Thanksgiving and make a plan together that would fit you both. If you can’t find a consensus, compromise if necessary. A mediator is also equipped to handle such delicate situations and help you get to a final decision.

2. Make Sure the Kids’ Interest Is Always First

This should be your everyday mantra in life, from the moment you divorce your spouse. Children’s interests should always prime, no matter how awkward things will get for you or how inconvenient it is to follow a specific plan.

If your relationship with your ex is not the greatest, work on dealing with your negative feelings. Don’t let them affect your children’s holidays and relationship with the other parent.

3. Prevent Awkward Discussions

If your kids are with you and your family during Thanksgiving, take a few preventive measures to protect them from unwanted comments and discussions during your dinner or vacation.

We all know how family congregations always have an awkward element, whether it’s nosy questions from a distant relative or a tipsy uncle who blabbers about politics. Make sure your kids don’t hear about your divorce in these circumstances, and talk to the participants to let them know about this rule.

4. Consider Sharing It

If logistics or other factors make co-parenting very difficult during Thanksgiving, consider a simple yet effective way of keeping the children happy: both of you will spend time with them during the holidays.

It’s up to you and your ex to discuss how you will share the meal. You can suggest breakfast at one of you, then dinner at the other. The children will enjoy spending the holidays with both of you.

No matter your current situation following a divorce, remember that the holidays are about children and that Thanksgiving can be a perfect moment to be grateful for what you have and make the best of it.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Nov 5, 2021 @ 3:39 pm

St. Louis Divorce Attorney: Military Deployment and Divorce

January 4, 2021 by David Betz

If you are a veteran involved in divorce or custody proceedings or a spouse to a veteran, be sure to contact a St. Louis divorce attorney to understand your rights.

Divorce is never an easy process, no matter how much parties may agree. It requires an extensive allowance of time, energy, and often income. Court dates can be numerous, paperwork stacks up quickly, and constant contact with your attorney, spouse’s attorney, and spouse is necessary to conduct a divorce proceeding efficiently.

What happens if you are an active member of the military while on deployment? How do you represent yourself when you receive the notice of summons while overseas? Thankfully, members of the military are protected by the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA).

The SCRA

In 2003 the United States Congress enacted the SCRA to protect active members of the military while deployed. It shields servicemembers from a range of issues; evictions, debt collection, and additionally in divorce proceedings. In fact, a petitioner declares whether either party is a member of the United States Armed Forces during the initial filings.

As a result of these protections, a veteran poses a somewhat curious case when summoned for court. If a civilian failed to appear for court, a default judgment would be filed against them. Military members on deployment can have default judgments set aside until deployment is over or even vacate them.

Understand Your Rights

It is important to know your rights, and an experienced St. Louis family law attorney can provide that critical information. If you are a veteran involved in divorce or custody proceedings or a spouse to a veteran, be sure to contact your trusted Missouri attorney and learn how to best plan around your unique circumstances.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Jan 22, 2021 @ 4:17 pm

8 Factors that Determine Child Custody in Missouri

June 23, 2018 by David Betz

Many factors lead to the decision of who gets primary custody of the children and what type of visitation arrangements are made.

When a marriage dissolves, it is challenging enough to figure out who gets what monetarily and how each party is going to move along. When children are involved, things can quickly get complicated and overwhelming.

If you are someone who is in the process of divorcing and wondering how a judge will rule what type of custody agreement is appropriate for your particular situation, it is essential to understand what goes into determining the best interest of the child in Missouri courtrooms.

Many factors lead to the decision of who gets primary custody of the children and what type of visitation arrangements are made. But, the elements that carry the most weight in court are as follows:

What the divorcing parties agree on in their proposed parenting plan. The ideal situation is that the parents can come to a consensus about who gets custody and how time and responsibility are divided. If you have agreed on custody, then it is a huge factor that the court will consider.
The individual needs of the child to maintain a relationship with both parties and each parent’s willingness to support a meaningful relationship with their child are taken highly into consideration. The court must find that each parent functions in the role that they should in the child’s life.
The way that the family interacts is a considerable factor in the decision-making process of the courts. Siblings and other significant relationships are heavily weighted amongst the factors of who gets custody and what kind.
Which party has proven that they will foster a meaningful relationship with the other parent is critical to the decision. If it appears that one parent will make it more difficult for the child to have a good relationship with the other parent, that is not looked upon favorably by the court.
The overall way that a child will adjust to their home, community, and school if one parent is given custody rights.
The physical and emotional well-being of the child-related to who they live with and their visitation schedule.
If one parent wishes to move away, that is a significant factor in how the court will rule. Relocation is seen as a hardship for a child that is already going through a major life trauma.
If the child is old enough to speak about their concerns and voice their choice, it may be considered by the court. Usually, the child has to be at least 8 for their opinion to be critical in the decision process.

If you are divorcing and are not able to come to an agreement about who gets custody, who has the primary decision-making capability related to them, or how visitation is scheduled, the court will have to decide for you. Many factors are taken into consideration to come to a ruling, but they are based solely on the best interest of the child.

St. Louis Custody Attorneys

Our legal team recognizes the delicate nature of child custody proceedings and makes it a priority to ensure that the interests of you and your child are considered first and foremost. The idea of losing precious time with a child can be overwhelming for a parent whose primary goal is to protect their well being. We have the experience you need to help your family through these difficult times and to make sure that you are satisfied with the end result.

Call The Betz Law Firm today at (314) 801-8488 or fill out our online contact form to request a free 30-minute phone consultation.

Dec 11, 2020 @ 7:52 pm

Steps to Take Before You File for Divorce

January 31, 2018 by David Betz

There are a number of advantages to being well prepared before filing for divorce.

Divorce is certainly not an easy process, but if you and your spouse have been through therapy and decided that it’s time to call it quits, here are a few things you should do before actually filing for divorce. Being well prepared before filing could end up saving you thousands and sparing your time.

Seek Counseling – Divorce is one of the most emotionally trying experiences you may ever have to go through. The complex legal proceedings and the emotional upheaval will challenge both your intellectual and mental/emotional health. In order to be able to handle this process logically and be there for any children you may have, you have to take care of your emotional health first.
Ensure Your Safety – Divorce is never easy, but sometimes it turns violent. If you are leaving a violent partnership work with your therapist and attorney to make a safety plan. This may include having an already furnished apartment waiting for you as soon as you file. For those with a potentially violent spouse, pick a neighborhood with good security, invest in heavy-duty locks, and make sure your former spouse does not know your address.
Plan for the Children – Raising children is an enormous expense and you want to make sure that they don’t end up getting shortchanged in the settlement. To do this, you need to get creative and plan for the future of your child. Do you envision them attending private high school and then college? Then the cost of your children’s education needs to be included in your settlement. Don’t forget that the cost of education is far greater than just tuition. You also have to account for sports, tutoring, uniforms, and so much more.
Do Not Date – There are a number of reasons for avoiding beginning a new relationship at this vulnerable emotional stage. For one, there could be legal consequences if you begin a relationship before the divorce papers are signed. If you signed a prenuptial agreement with a cheating clause, dating before the divorce is finalized could result in losing spousal benefits.
Find an Experienced Attorney – A family law attorney should be someone you can trust to help you through some of the most difficult times in your life, as well as one of the people you want next to you to celebrate triumphs. Like your family physician who handles your families’ health concerns, a family law attorney can assist, guide, and offer advice whenever life throws a curveball your way.

The Betz Law Firm

The attorneys at The Betz Law Firm have effectively represented hundreds of clients in their divorce. In matters pertaining to family law, our firm understands that resolving issues through mediation and negotiation will yield better results for both parties. While we are a team of successful litigators, we will set a tone that minimizes animosity and promotes cooperation. It has been our experience that mediation is a preferred alternative to court trials and litigation.

Call us today at (314) 801-8488 or fill out our online contact form to request a Free 30 Minute phone consultation.

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:04 pm

The Growing Trend Towards Remaining Single – St. Louis Family Law

October 12, 2017 by David Betz

Surprisingly, the divorce rate is not one of the factors which have influenced this trend.

family law st louis

Research conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that in the US, the number of adults who live without a partner has increased in the last 10 years. In 2007, the percentage was 39%. At present, it is 42%.

This is due to several reasons. First, the number of married adults has decreased. Secondly, the number of people living with their romantic partners has increased. The third reason could be the aging of American adults.

Surprisingly, the divorce rate is not one of the factors which have influenced this trend. According to St. Louis divorce lawyer, this study reveals some interesting facts about how our society is shaping up. Here are the findings of this study.

Economic Impact of This Trend

This trend can have a significant impact on the economic life of adults. Studies have revealed the financial advantages of cohabitation and marriage. The average household income for adults who are married or living with a partner is $86,000. While the average household income for adults who are living without a partner is $61,000.

There are more chances for unpartnered adults to live in poverty. Only 7% of the partnered adults may be poor while 17% of the single adults are likely to be poverty-stricken.

Research Findings

Research shows that 40% of the men are unpartnered, while 43% of the women live without a partner.

Educated adults who have a bachelor’s degree are less likely to stay without a partner than the less educated ones. 31% of the former and 46% of the latter stay without a partner. Further, 37% of the Asian and White adults are unpartnered while 46% of the Hispanic and 62% of the black adults live without partners.

The number of unpartnered adults has risen among unemployed people. 46% of the adults who were of a working-age but did not have a job were living without a partner in 2007. Their number has risen to 51% in the present.

However, the change in the percentage of unpartnered working-age adults who are employed is negligible. It has risen from 36% in 2007 to 38% in 2017.

But being jobless is not one of the reasons for remaining single. Surveys show that people are of the opinion that men have to be economically well off to be good partners or husbands. While economic literature supports the view that men become more successful in their work if they are married.

56% of the single adults are in charge of their household. 35% of unpartnered adults live alone. 22% of them live with others in the family, for example, single parents.

Around 28% of them live with their parents or grandparents. 16% of the unpartnered adults are in some way related to the head of the house.

Nearly, 58% of the unpartnered adults have not been married at any time. Around 21% are divorced, 14% are widowed, the rest are separated or living without their spouse in the house.

St. Louis Family Law

In matters pertaining to family law, The Betz Law Firm understands that resolving issues through mediation and negotiation will yield better results for both parties. While we are a team of successful litigators, we will set a tone that minimizes animosity and promotes cooperation. It has been our experience that mediation is a preferred alternative to court trials and litigation.

Call us today for a Free 30 minute phone consultation at (314) 801-8488 or fill out our online contact form.

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:02 pm