child custody

The Missouri family courts are of the opinion that a child’s best interests are generally served when they have regular and continual contact with both parents. However, what happens when your child’s personal interest does not match with their best interests? How do you approach the problem of your child not wanting to visit your former spouse?

To begin, it is important to have a direct and respectful conversation about their responsibility to spend time with both parents. Find out if there is perhaps an underlying reason why they do not want to go. Maybe they are anxious about going to a new house or seeing their parents in new living arrangements. Just as this is not an easy transition for you, it is also hard on them. Let them know that even though many things are changing, that the love of both parents for your child is still as strong as ever.

As with many other times in a child’s life, discipline may be necessary. How do you punish your child for misbehavior? Do you take away a favorite electronic? Maybe extra chores around your house or restrictions from playing games are the answer. You may not be able to enforce these restrictions at your former spouse’s home but it is important to set these boundaries under your roof.

Finally, therapy may be in order, not just for your child, but perhaps together. A trained therapist can access the situation and provide guidance for this uncomfortable transition in your child’s life. They can offer advice on how to work through the pain and myriad of feelings both you and your child are experiencing.

So long as your child’s animosity towards visitation is not born of fear for their safety, the courts will expect you to enforce visitation. Your child may be acting out, but children often do that when facing change. Listen to what they have to say, try and be understanding, but firm.

The court will attempt to ensure children remain safe and provide the best possible chance of a healthy life.

With the heroin and opioid epidemic in the headlines, we have become acutely aware of chemical dependency in the last decade.  The cost of life, property, and family is well known. For many this is as far as their personal experience will extend. Unfortunately, for others this is a personal narrative, either as an addict or the family of one.  Worse yet, what if your spouse’s addiction is affecting the welfare of your children?

In Missouri, a parent can lose their parental rights due to substance abuse.  However, the court places the highest importance on the best wishes of the child in question.  Part of this includes regular and continual contact with both parents. Except in clear and present cases of danger to the child, the court is reluctant to strip a parent of their rights.  They may, however, require regular drug testing, rehab, and potentially supervised visits. However, should the actions of the parent with a substance abuse problem be so egregious as to merit a question of a child’s safety, even with the above protections, the court may find no other remedy reasonable outside of terminating parental rights and giving the other parent full custody.

Termination of parental rights is not a punishment against persons fighting addiction. Instead, as is the case with all decisions the court makes regarding minors in divorce cases, it is the best wishes of the child that are of the highest paramount.  The court will attempt to ensure children remain safe and provide the best possible chance of a healthy life. Should you or a loved one be facing divorce with someone suffering from addiction, contact your trusted St. Louis family law attorney.  An experience Missouri lawyer will help you navigate this exceptionally hard time and provide counsel to protect your children’s best interests.

Give The Betz Law Firm a call today at (314) 801-8488 .

Here are 5 tips to make telling your children about your divorce as easy as possible.

Deciding to get a divorce comes with a significant amount of tasks to complete. You may be seeking a divorce attorney, split assets, negotiate over custody, and much more. One of the hardest of those tasks is telling your children about the divorce. Here are 5 tips to make it as easy as possible.

Work Out the Logistics Beforehand

When you tell your children about your divorce, they will likely have a few logistical questions right away. They might ask you which parent will be moving out of the house, who they will live with, who will take them to school, and more. Knowing the answers to as many of these questions as possible will make your talk go much more smoothly. Though you won’t have every detail of your divorce settled, you should know what the next few weeks will look like.

Tell them as a Team

The best way to talk to your children is as a team. That way, they do not make assumptions based on which parent speaks to them first. Doing so can be difficult for some couples, as they are already at a point where they don’t want to see each other. While that emotion is fair, you should do your best to make this particular talk a team effort. If you cannot, try to make your conversation with your children about your relationship, not the faults of your former partner.

Choose a Quiet Location and Calm Time

One of the worst things you can do in this situation is to talk to your children in a public space. You never know how they are going to handle it, so it is best to have this discussion in a quiet location. The best is doing it in your home, where your children can retreat to their bedrooms if needed. Secondly, have your talk during a calm time, like a quiet weekend afternoon. You don’t want to put them through an emotional rollercoaster and then send them to school or activities. Doing so will give them time to process the news before facing the world again.

Don’t Blame Anyone

People’s natural inclination in situations like this is to blame. For a child, they will usually look to one of their parents or themselves to assign fault. You must do your best to avoid this trap. If they develop negative feelings for you or your spouse, that will splinter an important relationship. If they blame themselves, they could experience much more pain than necessary.

Keep the Details to Yourself

No matter what conditions surround your divorce, you should keep the details to yourself when talking with younger kids. This is true even if you feel that one party was clearly at fault.

Telling your children about your divorce is never easy. Still, following these tips can make it much better than the alternative.

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