child custody

How to Split Custody During the Holidays and Other Important Events

May 5, 2020 by David Betz

Shared custody can be challenging. There may be moments when one or both parents need to compromise for the best interest of their children.

Holidays can stir up family matters, especially when it comes to divorced or separated parents. Children make important memories during the holidays and it’s important to make them feel safe and content during these events. That is why a custody and visitation schedule is paramount.

There are two ways in which parents can get to a settled custody plan for the holidays: either they negotiate outside of the court and reach a settlement, or they follow the instructions given by the court.

Settling the Holiday Dates

First of all, you and the other parent should establish which are the exact dates to be considered a holiday. These will include Christmas, New Year, Easter, Halloween, and other legal holidays, but also the holidays you take off work.

Alternating the Holidays

The most common arrangement for divorced or separated parents is to take turns on who spends a particular holiday with the children, alternating them every year. This way, every parent will get full time with the children every other year. The list of holidays to be rotated should be established, and detailed information about the holiday plans should be laid ahead of time.

Sharing the Holidays

Another standard solution is to share the holidays. This is especially convenient for parents who still live relatively close to each other, as it makes the transfer possible without cutting too much time out of the actual holiday celebrations. A shared holiday custody schedule will include details about who spends the morning with the children, who get them in the evening, when and where the transfer will be made, and by whom, etc.

Traveling for the Holidays

Many families choose to travel during holidays to celebrate, whether they are visiting family or just want to explore other places. If you’re going to take your children on such travels, make sure that the other parent is aware of it and that out-of-state travel is allowed in your custody plan. Always remember that any program you make should be compatible with the terms of your custody plan. Otherwise, it will be seen as a failure to comply, and it will affect your parenting rights.

Challenges That May Arise

Shared custody can be challenging. There may be moments when one or both parents need to compromise for the best interest of their children. Situations when last-minute changes need to be done or parents disagree on how to spend the holidays are likely to appear, and it’s essential to keep in mind that your custody schedule should always reflect the best interest of your children.

Child Custody Lawyers in St. Louis

In our experience dealing with child custody matters, we have found that the best solutions for the child come by mediating with the parents. The children thrive in a better environment when both parents are satisfied with the results of a custody agreement and feel that their needs and concerns have been met.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

May 28, 2020 @ 3:41 pm

A Brief Guide to Custody Options: the 50/50 Schedule

March 4, 2020 by David Betz

One of the most difficult decisions a parent has to make during a divorce is setting a schedule for seeing and spending time with their child.

A few years back, a law went into effect with the purpose of encouraging judges to award equal custody time (50/50 custody.) However, some judges are hesitant, claiming that 50/50 custody isn’t in the best interest of the child. Instead, it may confuse them.

Are they right? How is equal custody different from the traditional one? And, should you ask your St. Louis divorce lawyer to push for it?

Types of 50/50 Schedules

While simple in theory, many realize that finding common ground when it comes to equal custody can be quite difficult.

Here are three types of schedules that might work best for both parents:

Every Other Week: This schedule is pretty forward: you have the kids for one week, from Sunday to Sunday while your ex-spouse will stay with them for the next. There’s just one exchange per week, which can limit the conflicts that may arise during drop off or pick up. However, if the other parent lives on the other side of town, then that might mean a longer commute to school or other extracurricular activities.

From Thursday Until Sunday: Another schedule that could work for some parents is picking up the kids on Thursday morning or after school and dropping them off on Sunday afternoon. The problem with this schedule is that one parent has to deal with the demands of a school week while the other gets to enjoy spending time with the kids during the weekend. You may alternate between weekdays and weekends so that you avoid a potential conflict.

The 2-2-3 Formula: It may look more like a math formula or code. And, granted, it’s the most complicated custody schedules of them all. According to it, children will spend two days of the week with one parent, two days with the other, and the remaining three days with the first parent. You switch it next week. It is a very demanding schedule that requires a lot of flexibility. So, if there is a lot of friction between you and your ex-spouse, then you may consider avoiding this method as you will have to see each other quite a lot. On the other hand, if you are on good terms and great at co-parenting, then this schedule can truly ensure equal custody.

What Should You Do?

Understandably, you want to spend as much time as possible with your kids. However, you don’t want to tire, confuse or frustrate them either. Discuss your options with your spouse and an experienced St. Louis divorce attorney to figure out the best solution for your case.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 11, 2020 @ 5:00 pm

Can a Father Get Custody If He Wasn’t Part of the Kids’ Life for a Long Time?

February 14, 2020 by David Betz

Custody battles are never easy. The prospects of divorce are tough on their own, but when children are involved it can make everything that much harder, both from an emotional and legal point of view.

In Missouri, the general idea that guides the custody process is that any decision made must be in the best interest of the child. For parents, especially fathers who have not been involved in the child’s life for a long time, it may be especially difficult to gain custody.

Understanding the Law

In Missouri, there is no default parenting plan. The family judge will decide on the matter based on the case in front of them, ruling what is best for the children. There is, however, a new law that encourages a 50-50 custodial share, based on the belief that children should spend an equal amount of time with both parents, even if they are divorced.

But of course, in practice, it can be difficult to have 50-50 custody. One parent may be deemed unfit to have custody, placing the child in the care of the other parent or a legal guardian, if both parents are deemed unfit.

Custody is different from visitation rights, however. A parent may not have custody of their children, but still, have the right to visitation. Sometimes the judge will even decide how frequent these visits are, and how they can occur (supervised or unsupervised).

Things Can Change

If a parent loses their custody rights, it often has to do with their inability to care for the child. Perhaps they do not have a job to support themselves or the child or are battling an addiction. Losing custody can sometimes break families apart, and the father can lose touch with his children for a while.

However, just because the judge decided one parent is fit to care for the children does not mean this will always be the case. Things can change drastically, in which case the distant father may consider re-applying for custody.

Whether they will get it greatly depends. First, it’s important to address the issue that removed their custody rights in the first place – were they resolved/improved? The judge will again question the father’s ability to care for the child.

Then, it’s important to consider if the mother or other legal guardians should lose custody. Have they put the child in danger? Is it best for the child to be removed for their environment?

Lastly, there is the question of whether the distant father is the best person to gain custody, considering they were not part of the child’s life.

What Should You Do?

When it comes to custody battles, the smallest thing can change the course of a case. One of the best things you can do is get in touch with an experienced St. Louis divorce attorney for legal guidance.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Feb 14, 2020 @ 4:49 pm

What If My Child Does Not Want to Visit My Former Spouse?

January 14, 2020 by David Betz

The Missouri family courts are of the opinion that a child’s best interests are generally served when they have regular and continual contact with both parents. However, what happens when your child’s personal interest does not match with their best interests? How do you approach the problem of your child not wanting to visit your former spouse?

To begin, it is important to have a direct and respectful conversation about their responsibility to spend time with both parents. Find out if there is perhaps an underlying reason why they do not want to go. Maybe they are anxious about going to a new house or seeing their parents in new living arrangements. Just as this is not an easy transition for you, it is also hard on them. Let them know that even though many things are changing, that the love of both parents for your child is still as strong as ever.

As with many other times in a child’s life, discipline may be necessary. How do you punish your child for misbehavior? Do you take away a favorite electronic? Maybe extra chores around your house or restrictions from playing games are the answer. You may not be able to enforce these restrictions at your former spouse’s home but it is important to set these boundaries under your roof.

Finally, therapy may be in order, not just for your child, but perhaps together. A trained therapist can access the situation and provide guidance for this uncomfortable transition in your child’s life. They can offer advice on how to work through the pain and myriad of feelings both you and your child are experiencing.

So long as your child’s animosity towards visitation is not born of fear for their safety, the courts will expect you to enforce visitation. Your child may be acting out, but children often do that when facing change. Listen to what they have to say, try and be understanding, but firm.

Jan 14, 2020 @ 11:23 pm

What’s the Holiday Child Possession and Visitation Schedule in Missouri?

September 2, 2019 by David Betz

Nobody likes to think about their family separating. However, the truth is that roughly 50% of U.S. children will go through their parents getting divorced.

If you and your spouse get divorced, Missouri law requires you to form an official parenting plan where you lay out the specifics about where your child will live, the school they will go to, and a visitation schedule.

This plan is generally required regardless of the type of custody you want, such as joint custody or sole custody, so make sure to discuss every detail with your St. Louis divorce attorney.

What the Schedule Should Include

The parenting plan needs to be very specific so that the courts can know their ruling will be made in the best interest of the child. As for the visiting component, the plan needs to include:

A standard schedule that shows how much time you’ll be able to spend with the child, both during the week and weekends.
A holiday schedule accounting for all major holidays, and special days like birthdays, Mother’s or Father’s Day, or other days important for the child or their family.
A schedule for all their school vacations.

Additionally, your plan should lay out which parent gets which holiday, a plan for the child’s transportation, how to handle any possible changes in the schedule, as well as how to handle contact with the child when they are residing with the other parent.

What Missouri Law Says

Missouri does not have any laws regulating what the custody visitation schedule needs to look like, but the court’s decision will be based on what’s best for the child.

Parents who create the schedule together generally will have no problem getting it approved. However, if you and your former spouse cannot agree on a fixed schedule, then the courts will establish one for you.

There are some principles the courts will follow when deciding a visiting schedule:

The child has the right to frequent visitation to spend time with both parents
Joint custody is considered as the optimal option in custody hearings. Sole custody is usually only granted when one parent is considered unfit to take care of the child
Age, sex, or financial status of the parent is not relevant in establishing the visitation schedule
The child’s best interest will ultimately be the decisional factor in these cases.

What Should You Do?

A custody issue, even when both parents agree to do it amicably, is not an easy process. Emotions tend to run high because of the delicacy of the situation. At this time, it’s best to work with a St. Louis divorce lawyer who can help you and your spouse find a middle ground regarding the holiday visitation schedule.

Your lawyer will be the objective voice throughout the entire process and have your and your child’s best interest in mind. Additionally, they can help prepare you for any custody hearings in front of a judge.

Sep 17, 2019 @ 7:29 pm

Can I Get Full Custody If My Spouse Has a Chemical Dependency?

June 4, 2019 by David Betz

The court will attempt to ensure children remain safe and provide the best possible chance of a healthy life.

With the heroin and opioid epidemic in the headlines, we have become acutely aware of chemical dependency in the last decade. The cost of life, property, and family is well known. For many this is as far as their personal experience will extend. Unfortunately, for others this is a personal narrative, either as an addict or the family of one. Worse yet, what if your spouse’s addiction is affecting the welfare of your children?

In Missouri, a parent can lose their parental rights due to substance abuse. However, the court places the highest importance on the best wishes of the child in question. Part of this includes regular and continual contact with both parents. Except in clear and present cases of danger to the child, the court is reluctant to strip a parent of their rights. They may, however, require regular drug testing, rehab, and potentially supervised visits. However, should the actions of the parent with a substance abuse problem be so egregious as to merit a question of a child’s safety, even with the above protections, the court may find no other remedy reasonable outside of terminating parental rights and giving the other parent full custody.

Termination of parental rights is not a punishment against persons fighting addiction. Instead, as is the case with all decisions the court makes regarding minors in divorce cases, it is the best wishes of the child that are of the highest paramount. The court will attempt to ensure children remain safe and provide the best possible chance of a healthy life. Should you or a loved one be facing divorce with someone suffering from addiction, contact your trusted St. Louis family law attorney. An experience Missouri lawyer will help you navigate this exceptionally hard time and provide counsel to protect your children’s best interests.

Give The Betz Law Firm a call today at (314) 801-8488 .

Jun 20, 2019 @ 5:23 pm