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Understanding Child Custody from the Father’s Perspective

March 23, 2021 by David Betz

A father’s rights regarding custody and visitation hours are the same as a mother would have.

Separation is rarely easy or pleasant, and it gets truly emotionally draining when there are minor children involved. Whether you are also going through a divorce or you are only dealing with the custody battle, you are likely in for a difficult trial and making tough decisions.

Here are some things you should know as a father if you are preparing for a custody battle.

Father’s Rights in a Child’s Custody Case

A father’s rights regarding custody and visitation hours are the same as a mother would have. You have the right to negotiate when, for how long, and where you will see your child, and you have the right to file for sole custody.

Understanding what the court actually looks into when making the final decisions is very important in your case. Don’t automatically expect the mother to get custody or dictate the visitation conditions because you are just as entitled to earn these privileges. If you prove that you are a good parent, the court will acknowledge that and consider it, with every proof you provide to support it.

Bias Against Fathers When It Comes to Child Custody

While this might’ve been true for decades, today’s society has lessened the gender bias when it comes to giving custody to a parent. In the context of gender equality and the fight against discrimination, fathers can now worry less about losing a trial just because they are men.

This doesn’t mean, though, that you have equal chances of getting the child, as the little one’s needs may favor the mother, at least up to a certain age. At the same time, there are plenty of cases where the father is proven to be more fit to take care of the child. Custody is not a given, but it has to be earned by proving to be the best fit for being a parent.

How to Defend Your Rights as a Father

To increase your chances of getting full custody or shared custody, you and the mother both need to prove that you are fit to provide a good life for your child. This includes shelter, nutrition, education, a stable and healthy environment, love and support, extra-curricular activities, etc.

It would be best if you started preparing for your suit as soon as you believe a separation might occur in the future. Keep a journal of your time and activities with your child, take an interest in what they need and like doing, learn how to take care of them when they are sick, help with their school projects, and talk to them. First of all, physically spend time with them, and make it relevant.

St. Louis Child Custody Lawyer

Our legal team recognizes the delicate nature of child custody proceedings. We make it a priority to ensure that you and your child’s interests are considered first and foremost. The idea of losing precious time with a child can be overwhelming for a parent whose primary goal is to protect their well-being. We have the experience you need to help your family through these difficult times and make sure that you are satisfied with the end result.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 23, 2021 @ 5:01 pm

How To Bring Up A Prenuptial Agreement To Your Fiance/Fiancée

March 16, 2021 by David Betz

It’s a good idea to know how to bring up a prenuptial agreement – without making it sound uncomfortable or making the other person feel bad. Here are some tips on how to do so.

It can be difficult to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your potential partner before marriage. However, any good divorce attorney will tell you that a prenuptial agreement is a great way to protect your assets – even if you remain with this person for the rest of your life.

While prenuptial agreements (prenups) don’t have the same stigma they used to, many people still may feel uncomfortable talking about them. After all, prenuptial agreements are related to what happens in the case of a divorce – and nobody likes thinking that they may not be married to their partner forever.

Because of this, it’s a good idea to know how to bring up a prenuptial agreement – without making it sound awkward or making the other person feel bad. Here are some tips on how to do so.

1. Have the Conversation as Early as Possible

If you bring up the subject of a prenup right after you are engaged – or even while you’re dating your partner – they will likely be more receptive to the idea than they would be if you brought it up a few weeks before the wedding.

2. Remind Them That a Prenup Helps Get Your Finances In Order

One of the under-discussed benefits of a prenup is that it forces you and your prospective partner to take a deep look at your finances – assets, debts, loans, cash, investment accounts, and more – and what will happen to them if you separate.

You both have to fully disclose your assets – which helps you understand how your financial situation will look once you’re married.

3. Emphasize the Peace of Mind a Prenup Gives You

A prenup helps outline all of the most important aspects of a divorce – including division of assets, child custody, and more. One of the most difficult aspects of a divorce is how hard it is on kids – and how expensive it is.

Point out that, in the unlikely case that you do get separated, a prenup will make it easier for your children to live a normal life and help you avoid massive legal expenses and difficulties.

4. Suggest A Co-Created Agreement

If you are the higher-earning person in your relationship, a prenup may be seen simply as a way for you to protect your assets. But this is not the case – and if this objection is made, suggest that you co-create the agreement with your partner.

This way, they can input how the prenup is drafted by a lawyer and ensure that it is fair and reasonable. This is a person you love – so, obviously, you want them to have their own input on this document.

St. Louis Family Law Attorney

The conversation about a prenup is still probably going to be awkward. Nobody likes to think that, someday, they may get divorced from the one they love.

But with these tips and strategies from your St. Louis family law attorney, you can make the conversation a little less awkward – and make sure both you and your partner are on the same page before getting married.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 23, 2021 @ 4:31 pm

Is It Ok to Go on Dating Sites While My Divorce Is Pending?

March 11, 2021 by David Betz

If you and your spouse have agreed to separate, then you need the help and legal advice of an experienced attorney to make sure you get through this process successfully.

Divorce means different things for different people. For some, it’s their worst nightmare come to life and the start of a painful process. But for others, it’s a gate towards a fresh start, and you may already be emotionally ready to start dating.

But while your divorce is still pending, is it ok to start going on dating sites and meeting new people? The answer is a bit complicated, but let’s dive deeper into the subject.

Defining the Word “Ok”

From a legal standpoint, going on dating sites or dating someone isn’t forbidden when you’re in the middle of a divorce. Missouri has a limited “no-fault” divorce, meaning in most cases, spouses can go through the process without having to prove cruelty or adultery. Irreconcilable differences are the most common motivation for divorce in the state.

Dating during the marriage isn’t ok, but judges will generally not frown on one of the spouses dating throughout a divorce if the couple has already been separated for a while, either.

However, many divorce attorneys will encourage their clients to wait until the divorce is finalized, especially if there is a custody battle involved. So you may want to wait a bit to sign up for these services until your divorce is finalized.

It’s Your Spouse You May Need to Worry About

During a divorce, both parties must remain civil, as much of the proceedings involve negotiating certain terms. Sometimes, showing clear signs that you have moved on, such as going on dating sites, can irritate your former spouse and push them to refuse to cooperate, dragging out the divorce even more, which doesn’t help anyone, after all.

Apart from that, you may complicate matters even further if you also have a custody battle. Judges will make these decisions based on what’s best for the child. Your presence on these sites could allow your former spouse to argue that your dating doesn’t create an excellent child environment, especially given that divorce is a traumatic experience for children. An argument that your former spouse can use is that their child shouldn’t live in a place where strangers (the people you’re dating) come all the time, and the judge may agree.

Additionally, given that these profiles are public, they can be used against you. Your photos, descriptions, and even interactions with people on these social media sites may be brought in front of the judge to paint you in an unfavorable light.

Contact Your St. Louis Divorce Attorney

If you and your spouse have agreed to separate, then you need the help and legal advice of an experienced attorney to make sure you get through this process successfully. Get in touch with a St. Louis divorce attorney as soon as possible for a consultation and best recommendations on properly navigating this process.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 11, 2021 @ 7:00 pm

Not Happy with How the Judge Divided Assets in Your Divorce Case?

March 3, 2021 by David Betz

If you disagree with a court order, make sure you hire a good St. Louis divorce lawyer experienced in the economics of divorce to ensure a good outcome for you.

The division of assets is one of the most delicate parts of a divorce. Unfortunately, it often leads to more conflict between the separated spouses, as they are splitting their previous shared life. The division of assets can affect your living arrangements, business, financial status, and quality of life, so it is clear that it needs to be done with equity and objectiveness.

If you are in the middle of a divorce and feel that the division of assets was done to your disadvantage, you can appeal to the trial court’s decision and defend your case. But, as it involves such a big part of your separation, it is a delicate matter that needs to be handled with the help of a good St. Louis divorce attorney.

Division of Assets in Missouri

The property that the spouses acquire during their marriage is called “marital property.” This will be the property that will be divided during a divorce. This is the first thing to check during the division of assets, as the state of Missouri automatically considers any goods that were purchased during your marriage as common goods unless you prove otherwise. So, if you have certain goods you purchased with your own finances, you should provide the necessary evidence to get them off the marital goods list.

The second principle that you must know about the division of assets in Missouri is that a judge will not necessarily divide your marital assets equally but in an equitable way. This will depend on what financial status the other spouse will be left with, how much you both contributed to marital or commingled property, how much of non-marital properties you two have, and what custody arrangements you have in place for your minor children.

What Conditions Must Be Met for You to Appeal?

First of all, the appeal must be done in a certain span of time from the court’s initial decision. In Missouri, you must file your appeal for twenty days from the signing of the court decision, and the court is obliged to solve your settlement in twenty days from your timely appeal.

To support your claim, you must provide evidence that non-marital property was included in the division of assets or what was considered equitable is actually putting you at a disadvantage. This is not easy to demonstrate without papers and written records of your property ownership, sources, or other factors that usually influence a judge’s decision when dividing marital assets.

If you disagree with a court order, make sure you hire a good St. Louis divorce lawyer experienced in the economics of divorce to ensure a good outcome for you. They can advise on the proper steps to appeal the court’s decision.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 11, 2021 @ 7:25 pm

When Attacking Your Former Spouse Hurts Yourself

February 25, 2021 by David Betz

Anger, frustration, pain, betrayal, all of these are normal and understandable feelings to experience during a divorce. But it is important to pick an appropriate time and place.

Robert Emery posted an article on Psychology Today discussing the consequences of speaking ill about your former spouse in front of your children. In previous articles, we have outlined how alienation can adversely affect not just your case but your family. While alienation is a real outcome, it may not be the target of denigration who suffers, but the source instead.

In his case study, Emery found subjects who lived in a home where one divorced parent spoke ill of the other parent, the child swayed more towards alienating the vocally negative parent. Referring to this as a “boomerang effect.” Unfortunately, this boomerang effect often alienated both parents from their child.

Important Reminders

It is important to remember, both during and after a divorce, children are watching their parents. Anger, frustration, pain, betrayal, all of these are normal and understandable feelings to experience during a divorce. However, parents are not the only ones coping, so too are the children. This is not stated to cause guilt but as a reminder during a trying time. While venting frustration, it is important to pick an appropriate time and place. Close friends, or perhaps therapy, are a far more effective and constructive group to voice pain than in front of children.

The problem with speaking poorly about the other parent and former spouse is that everyone is hurt. Both parents could become alienated, the children will have a less happy childhood, and it can cause long-term irreparable damage to all involved.

If you face a divorce or alienation, speak to a St. Louis family law attorney to find out how to approach your case. An experienced Missouri lawyer can help guide you through the process and provide perspective.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Feb 25, 2021 @ 7:58 pm

Is It Ok for My Child to Testify at My Divorce Trial?

February 18, 2021 by David Betz

If you absolutely need the child to testify, there are ways to get their testimony without them being on the witness stand with all eyes on them, facing both parents and all attorneys and staff.

One of the most delicate and stressful parts of a divorce is not always the division of assets or separating from your spouse but having to decide who gets the custodial rights of minor children. When children are involved, divorces are more impactful, and the judge must act in the minor’s best interest, no matter what.

Going through a divorce puts both parents through unpleasant tasks, such as dividing financial and marital assets or trying to reach a settlement for living arrangements post-divorce. Unfortunately, when it comes to custody, the children are often dragged into it. They have to be evaluated or even to choose between living with their mom or dad.

Can My Child Testify at My Divorce Trial?

If you wonder if your minor child can also be considered a witness in your trial and testify, the answer is yes. If it is ok, it’s another issue. Testifying in a trial is stressful for anyone, as the pressure is quite high. But testifying at your parents’ divorce trial can be traumatic for a minor, which is why you should avoid it at all costs.

If you absolutely need the child to testify, there are ways to get their testimony without them being on the witness stand with all eyes on them, facing both parents and all attorneys and staff. If, for example, there has been mistreatment of the child from one of the parents, and the child’s testimony would help protect them from future aggression, the court can get a report based on the child’s testimony, without putting the minor through the stress of appearing in court.

Usually, the judge appoints a mediator or a child custody evaluator trained to communicate with children and observe their psychological reactions and behaviors. The specialist will put together a report that contains the answers to the problems the court needs to address. This report is confidential and only used during the trial and not kept by either party.

Older Children May Give Their Testimony Directly

If the judge decides that testimony would not intervene in the child’s well-being, and this mostly applies to over 14, they may testify in court. Both your St. Louis divorce attorney and your spouse’s attorney will be able to address questions to the child. The judge will interview your child, but neither you nor your spouse can be present during the testimony.

The custodial outcome of your divorce can be based quite a lot on your child’s testimony, especially if they manifest their preference clearly (after a certain age, it is taken into account.)

St. Louis Family Law Attorney

To make sure your child is safe and their distress is kept to a minimum during your divorce trial, discuss these concerns with your St. Louis divorce attorney and use the best option available to make the trial less traumatic for the little ones.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Feb 25, 2021 @ 7:32 pm