St. Louis Divorce & Family Law Attorney - The Betz Law Firm

St. Louis Divorce & Family Law Attorney - The Betz Law Firm

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Questions Your Kids May Ask About Divorce

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Regardless of their age, it’s essential to address their feelings about the situation and answer their questions about your divorce.

Going through a divorce is often challenging and fraught with anxiety and stress. When you have children, it complicates factors even more so. It worries you, but it also concerns them and causes them anxiety and fear. It can be difficult for children to wrap their heads around their parents’ divorcing. They may not fully comprehend what it means for quite some time.

If your children are older, you may expect them to harbor anger, resentment, or guilt. Younger children may want to know why. Regardless of their age, it’s essential to address their feelings about the situation and answer their questions about divorce.

Children are observant and intelligent. They can detect difficult emotions and issues you may be facing. However, they may not understand what it all means. Many parents don’t realize that they grasp what’s happening, but their kids don’t. Therefore, children have questions and concerns about what’s going on – even if they’re not asking them aloud.

Some of the most common questions kids ask about divorce include:

  • Is it my fault?
  • Why are you getting a divorce?
  • What’s going to happen to me?
  • Will you get back together?
  • Do you still love me?
  • What am I going to tell my friends?
  • Will both of you be at my birthday party?
  • Who will I live with?
  • Do you still love dad (or mom)?
  • What if I don’t want you to get a divorce?

Tips on How to Answer Their Questions

Explaining divorce to your children can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. Their questions may come all at once or be sporadic. Either way, if you’re prepared, it will make things more comfortable for both of you.

Some tips for answering their questions:

  • Be patient – You’re going through a stressful time; it’s understandable if you’re irritable and emotional. Your kids may really be trying your patience. You may have to make a conscious effort to stay calm. Doing so will help you avoid any angry outbursts that will only complicate the situation.
  • Consider their age – It may not be wise to tell them all the messy details. Choose age-appropriate answers, keeping in mind that younger children need fewer details than older kids. Long, complicated answers can confuse a child. So keep your responses short and limit excessive information.
  • Be honest – While it’s true that kids don’t need all the details, they do, however, deserve truthful answers. It’s okay to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
  • Don’t be hateful – You may be angry at your spouse, especially if infidelity is involved. This is understandable. But keep in mind that these are your feelings. Don’t burden your child with the “dirty details” or badmouth the other parent. This can be difficult, especially if your spouse is bashing you to your children.
  • Be sure to listen – Your kids will likely experience a wide range of emotions during this time. Sometimes it’s hard for kids to express themselves clearly. It may take time for them to get all their feelings out. Listening is key to understanding what they’re thinking and feeling. Being an active listener will help reassure them that their feelings are important too.
  • Show love – It is essential to reassure your children that you love them and that this is not their fault. Never lead them to believe that the other parent does not love them. Reassure them that it will be alright and that they will be taken care of and loved.

Contact a St. Louis Family Lawyer

Going through a divorce is never easy. You may feel stressed and emotionally exhausted. When your children start bombarding you with questions, you may feel irritable and emotional. However, your children need reassurance and love. 

At The Betz Law Firm, we are here to help. We are committed to guiding our clients through the court process with the same level of professionalism that we would wish for our family members.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 19, 2022 @ 5:37 pm

How to Successfully Co-Parent During Summer Vacation

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To give your children an enjoyable summer and remove your frustration, here are some tips you can use to co-parent with your ex-spouse more successfully.

Summer vacation is just around the corner, and your kids are likely ready for school to end and summer to begin. However, working to accommodate schedules while maintaining your custody arrangement can be challenging. To give your children an enjoyable summer and remove your frustration, here are some tips you can use to co-parent with your ex-spouse more successfully.

Communication is key! When we fail to communicate, it leads to frustration. Therefore, the best thing you can do to ensure your summer goes more smoothly is to communicate with your ex, even if they have difficulty communicating with you.

  • Create a Plan – One of the best things you can do early on is to make a co-parenting plan with your ex for the summer. You may involve a mediator if necessary. Having a plan for special events, weekends, or trips can save potential issues before they come up. Also, allow for the plan to be flexible because circumstances do change.
  • Be Upfront About Vacation Plans – Many families choose to go on vacation during the summer. While this can be a lot of fun, it’s important to remember that you must abide by your custody arrangement. Therefore, if you want to take your kids on vacation, notify your ex as soon as possible to work out important details.
  • Find out What Your Kids Want – This may not necessarily apply to young children, but it’s essential to get their input and opinion as you make decisions as kids get older. They may have ideas of what they’d like to do on their summer vacation. Let them pick some of the activities.
  • Be Understanding and Patient – You may find it challenging to always remain positive around your ex. But you’ll likely face situations that require understanding and patience. Issues may come up that necessitate an adjustment to your already scheduled plan. Try to exercise patience to avoid bashing your ex or creating even more problems.
  • Put Your Kids First – Remember that summer is for your kids to enjoy. They need a break from school, and they deserve it. Don’t compete with your ex-spouse for attention and favoritism. Do everything you can to put your kids first.

If you find that communicating with your ex-spouse is challenging, consider enlisting the help of a family mediator. Mediation is a type of alternative dispute resolution where a neutral third party helps disputing parties resolve conflict without having a judge involved.

Contact The Betz Law Firm

Our legal practice is focused exclusively on family law. It consists of a staff of experienced professionals who know all the legal issues that can arise during a divorce. Hundreds of clients have been assisted with child custody issues, visitation, support, alimony, division of joint assets, and much more in the mediation process.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 18, 2022 @ 8:35 pm

Scared to Get a Divorce – What Should I Do?

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If you want to figure out how to handle your fear of divorce or if you are afraid to break the news to your spouse, The Betz Law Firm can help.

If you have concluded that your marriage is over, you may be afraid to take the next step. Many people are often scared to get divorced for many different reasons. No matter your reason, divorce is never easy. However, you are not alone.

If you want to figure out how to handle your fear of divorce or if you are afraid to break the news to your spouse, The Betz Law Firm can help.

Divorce is one of the most stressful things you may ever experience. One of the primary reasons it’s so challenging is because the process is often fraught with stress and fear. You may feel you cannot move, think, or function properly. There is so much uncertainty associated with divorce, especially if you have children. You may also be plagued by the fear of never being happy again.

As experienced family law attorneys, we understand the fear, frustration, and uncertainty you feel. You can take several steps to make this complicated process more manageable and less scary.

  1. Write everything down – When you feel that your stress, fears, and anxiety are too much to handle, start writing. Write down all of the things that make you feel afraid. Remember, no concern or fear is stupid, irrational, or irrelevant. Once your feelings are written down on paper, you may better grasp the reasons for your fear.
  2. Talk to a divorce counselor – Talking to a third party that is not involved in the situation is often helpful. Just as a marriage counselor helps a couple with their marriage, a divorce counselor can help guide you through a divorce.
  3. Speak to a family law attorney – A lawyer experienced in family law is one of the best sources of guidance. They have immense knowledge of all the legal issues that can arise during a divorce.
  4. Join a support group – Talking to other people who have gone through, or are going through, similar experiences as you can be empowering. You may find that others even have the same fears. Learning how they have dealt with their fears and issues might give you ideas on how you can effectively deal with yours. It also helps to know that you are not alone.
  5. Research your options – If this is your first divorce, you are likely unaware of how the process works. You may only know what you’ve seen on tv or gossip you’ve heard. Therefore, take time to research how divorce works and all your options. Don’t base your decisions on hearsay or what well-meaning friends tell you – it may not be accurate.

St. Louis Family Law

At The Betz Law Firm, we use experience, good communication, and availability to help you get through life-changing events. We understand that resolving issues through mediation and negotiation will yield better results. While we are a team of successful litigators, we will set a tone that minimizes animosity and promotes cooperation. Our experience is that mediation is a preferred alternative to court trials and litigation.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 18, 2022 @ 7:58 pm

Who Will Get the Pet When You Divorce?

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In many cases, a divorcing couple doesn’t need to go to court to resolve issues such as who gets the pet.

If you shared a pet with your spouse, you might be worried about who gets the pet when you divorce. This is a common concern for many divorcing people, and we understand how emotional this decision is.

At The Betz Law Firm, we can help you understand what your rights to your pet may be. We can also help you determine if mediation is suitable for your situation. In many cases, a divorcing couple doesn’t need to go to court to resolve issues such as who gets the pet.

Where Will Your Pet Live After the Divorce?

Regardless of your emotional connection with your pet, most courts will view pets the same way they view other property, such as furniture or jewelry. If one person brought the pet into the marriage, they would likely be awarded the pet in the divorce. However, there are several variables that the court may also consider.

First, the court will establish whether the pet is separate or marital property. For instance, was the pet owned by one of the parties when they married? Second, are there children involved? The courts are concerned with the best interests of the children. They may determine that the pet should stay with the kids.

What’s Best for the Pet?

It’s not entirely uncommon for a judge to take the pet’s best interests into account. In substance or physical abuse cases, the judge may decide the pet should live with the non-abusive spouse. They may also consider who has a yard or is better financially able to care for the pet.

How Mediation Can Help

In many cases, a divorcing couple doesn’t need to go to court to resolve issues such as who gets the pet. There are two categories of divorce – contested and uncontested. A contested divorce occurs when neither party can determine the financial or child-related issues, and the decision-making must be left to a judge. In contrast, an uncontested divorce involves both parties working together to resolve all problems and compromise respectfully.

If you and your partner can easily reach decisions with conflict, you can avoid having a judge decide on issues like who your pet will live with. You might be able to work out the visitation of the pet. Most couples can generally agree to these arrangements themselves.

When mediation is suitable for your situation, there are many benefits to choosing this forum. Settling disputes through mediation saves money and time and generally leaves the parties in a better state of mind.

St. Louis Mediation

Our legal practice is focused exclusively on family law. It consists of a staff of experienced professionals who know all the legal issues that can arise during a divorce. Hundreds of clients have been assisted with child custody issues, visitation, support, alimony, division of joint assets, and much more in the mediation process.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 3, 2022 @ 8:38 pm

Establishing Paternity – Do I Need a Paternity Lawyer?

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If you are interested in learning about paternity testing and your legal rights, it’s essential to contact a paternity lawyer.

There are a lot of legal situations that require a paternity test to establish someone’s biological relationship with a child. The court recognizes legitimate paternity tests as proof. However, paternity laws are often confusing and vary depending on the state.

If you are interested in learning about paternity testing and your legal rights, it’s essential to contact a paternity lawyer. Establishing paternity isn’t a forthright case of completing the paternity acknowledgment form or ensuring your name is on the birth certificate.

According to the Law – Who’s the Father?

Paternity laws are complex. The legally recognized father may not be the child’s biological father. Here is how the law generally categorizes fathers:

  • Presumed father – The man married to the mother at the time of the child’s conception or birth or legally accepted to be the father to his wife’s baby or acted as if the baby was his own.
  • Acknowledged father – An unmarried man who claims to be the child’s father.
  • Unwed father – An unmarried man who begets a child with a woman.
  • Stepfather – A man who marries a woman who already has a child with another man.

According to the law, each of these fathers has its obligations. This means that you need a paternity lawyer to advise you based on which category you fall into.

Securing Visitation Rights

With the help of a paternity lawyer, you’ll be able to establish paternity and secure visitation rights. You and your child will benefit significantly from this development, as they will have accessibility to your health records and benefits and finally know their biological father.

Challenging Paternity

If you want to challenge paternity, you may have to go to court. This will require a lot of information from you – affidavits, forms, etc. Having a paternity lawyer will significantly increase your chances of successfully challenging your case.

Reasons to Contact a Paternity Lawyer

Even if you are not listed on the child’s birth certificate, you have rights regarding your child as a father. Allow us to help you establish your paternity to enforce your right to spend time with your biological child. A St. Louis family court judge will only hear your petition for visitation and custody after paternity has been confirmed. We can help you obtain the order for a paternity test and help file the paperwork needed for a visitation petition.

Paternity Lawyer – St. Louis Family Lawyer

There are many reasons why you may want or need the help of a paternity lawyer. You may want to understand the father’s rights or paternal grandparent’s rights after establishing paternity. In addition, you may want a legal paternity test or a lawyer for DNA testing to determine the biological father, confirm a timeshare plan and child support, or decide parental responsibility.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 3, 2022 @ 7:31 pm

In the Middle of a Divorce – How Should You File Your Taxes?

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A common question many divorcing people have is how to handle taxes during their divorce.

Going through a divorce is a confusing time. There are many changes and decisions to make and many things to think about all at the same time. Divorce changes almost everything about a person’s finances. If you’re in the process of your divorce, you may wonder how you should file your taxes.

If you and your spouse had joint accounts, debts, and assets, you must divide them into new, independent accounts. You will also need new financial strategies and plans, including how you will file your tax returns. If you’re going through your divorce, or have already divorced, here are some things you need to know come tax season.

Married or Unmarried for Tax Purposes

If you are currently in the process of your divorce and won’t be legally separated on December 31, you need to file jointly or married filing separately. If you will be legally divorced by the last day of the year, it is as if you’ve been single for the entire year and will file separately.

To file as “head of household,” you may be considered unmarried even if you weren’t legally divorced as of December 31. Typically, you’ll pay fewer taxes by filing as head of household. To do this, however, you must meet the following criteria:

  • Pay more than half the cost of keeping your house for the tax year
  • File a separate tax return from your ex-spouse
  • Not have lived with your ex-spouse for the last 6 months of the year
  • Maintain the primary home for more than 6 months for your dependent children

The second tax-advantageous filing status you may qualify for is single.

Filing Jointly or Separately

Even if you were married on the last day of the year, you could still file a joint tax return with your ex-spouse. This option might be easier if you paid expenses jointly throughout that year. You will likely have a lower total tax bill with a joint return than if you both file separately.

In some cases, a couple in the middle of a divorce might not want to file jointly, regardless of the consequences. For instance, one spouse may wonder if their ex is honest with the IRS. So they would rather not sign a joint return to ensure they aren’t liable for any tax responsibility problems later on.

Determining the Dependents

If one parent has custody of a child, the custodial parent typically claims the dependency exemption and the Child Tax Credit for the qualifying child. However, the custodial parent can let the non-custodial parent take the tax exemption and tax credit by signing Form 8332.

Contact The Betz Law Firm

At The Betz Law Firm, we are committed to guiding our clients through the court process with the same level of professionalism that we would wish for our family members. Our firm’s goal is to assist families in need to navigate their way through those important, life-changing events. Whether it be a divorce, relocation issues, or questions of paternity, our team of compassionate lawyers will be at your side, offering our guidance and support.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Contact Us Online
May 3, 2022 @ 5:15 pm