If your spouse has gone silent, you do not have to wait and wonder. Call The Betz Law Firm for a confidential consultation.
Filing for divorce is hard enough. Then your spouse is served and says nothing. Many people worry the case is stuck.
Usually, it isn’t. A spouse who ignores the process generally cannot stop a divorce. The case can often move forward by default, depending on how your spouse was served and whether you can find them.
Can my spouse stop the divorce by ignoring it?
Missouri is a no-fault divorce state. To grant a divorce, the court must find that the marriage is irretrievably broken. Your spouse does not have to agree for the court to make that finding, and staying silent is not a veto. When one spouse refuses to take part, the court may still hear the case and enter a judgment.
Silence changes who shapes the outcome. A spouse who never responds gives up the chance to present their side on property, debt, support, and parenting issues.
Step one: make sure your spouse was properly served
Before a court will move forward without your spouse, it needs proof that your spouse received legal notice of the case. This is called service of process, and it has to be done correctly. The most common methods in a Missouri divorce include:
- Waiver of service, where your spouse signs a notarized Entry of Appearance and Waiver of Service. This is common in cooperative cases, but a spouse who is ignoring you may never sign it.
- Personal service, where a sheriff or special process server hand-delivers the summons and petition to your spouse.
- Service by mail, which may be available when your spouse lives outside Missouri, though it can limit what the court can order.
- Service by publication, a last-resort option used only when your spouse truly cannot be located (covered below).
- Proper service matters because a default judgment is only as strong as the service behind it. If service was flawed, the judgment may be vulnerable to challenge later.
The 30-day response window
Once your spouse is personally served, they generally have 30 days to file a written response with the court, called an Answer. If your spouse does not file that Answer on time, they are considered in default.
Missouri also has a separate waiting period. A divorce judgment cannot be entered until at least 30 days after the petition was filed. In many cases, these two time periods run at the same time, but neither one can be skipped.
What “default” means in a Missouri divorce
If your spouse does not respond, you can ask the court to move forward without them. That does not mean the judge simply signs whatever you request. In a default case, you still typically need to show the court that:
- You meet the residency requirement (at least one spouse has lived in Missouri for 90 days before filing).
- The marriage is irretrievably broken.
- The proposed division of property and debt is fair and supported by information about your finances.
- Any proposed custody arrangement and parenting plan is in your children’s best interests.
This is usually done through paperwork and a short hearing, sometimes called a default hearing, where you answer questions about your marriage, finances, and children. Courts also generally require a statement about whether the non-responding spouse is on active military duty, since federal law provides additional protections for service members.
If you have children, the court will look closely at the parenting plan. A judge may still ask questions or make changes to protect your children, even when the other parent has not participated. Child support is calculated using Missouri’s guidelines, which means income information matters even in a default case. Learn more about how we handle parenting plans on our St. Louis child custody page.
What if my spouse cannot be found?
Sometimes a spouse is not ignoring the case. They are simply gone. If you have made a genuine, diligent effort to find your spouse and cannot locate them, the court may allow service by publication. That usually means filing a sworn statement describing your search efforts, then publishing a legal notice in an approved newspaper once a week for four consecutive weeks. Your spouse then has a set period after the first publication to respond.
Publication comes with important limits. In a divorce by publication, the court can generally dissolve the marriage and, if Missouri has proper jurisdiction, address child custody. However, the court generally cannot enter money judgments against your spouse, such as child support or spousal maintenance. If those issues matter to you, it is worth discussing before choosing this route, because the method of service can affect what relief is available.
How long does a default divorce take?
There is no single timeline. A case with prompt personal service and a clear record may move faster than a contested divorce, but it still has to clear the response period, the 30-day waiting period, and the court’s scheduling. Cases that require service by publication often take longer because of the search, the publication period, and the response window that follows. At The Betz Law Firm, we can give you a more realistic estimate once we know how and when your spouse was served.
How The Betz Law Firm can help
The Betz Law Firm is a locally owned St. Louis family law firm, founded in 2012 and focused on divorce. Attorney David Betz and a senior paralegal guide clients through every step of a case when the other spouse will not participate, including confirming proper service, tracking deadlines, preparing the paperwork a default requires, and presenting your case at the hearing. When publication is needed, we can help you document your search and understand what the court can and cannot order.
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