Deciding what to do with the family home is a major financial and personal decision, and you don’t have to make it alone.
For many St. Louis couples, the family home is the largest asset they own together, and often the most emotional one. It is where children grew up, where routines live, and where much of your equity may be tied up. When a marriage ends, deciding what happens to the house can shape your finances for years.
How Missouri Treats the Family Home in a Divorce
Missouri divides property using a principle called equitable distribution. That means the court aims for a division that is fair under the circumstances, which is not always a strict 50/50 split.
Under Missouri law (RSMo 452.330), a judge first sets aside each spouse’s separate property, then divides the marital property. When dividing marital property, the court may consider factors such as:
- Each spouse’s economic circumstances, including whether it may be desirable to award the family home, or the right to live in it for a reasonable period, to the spouse who has primary custody of the children
- Each spouse’s contributions to acquiring the property, including contributions as a homemaker
- The value of the separate property each spouse will keep
- The conduct of the parties during the marriage
- Custodial arrangements for minor children
Because these factors vary from family to family, two couples with similar homes can end up with very different outcomes.
Is Your House Marital or Separate Property?
Before you can decide what to do with the house, it helps to understand how it may be classified.
- A home purchased during the marriage is generally considered marital property, even if only one spouse’s name is on the deed or the mortgage.
- A home one spouse owned before the marriage may be separate property. However, it can become partly marital if marital funds paid down the mortgage, paid for major improvements, or if the home increased in value because of marital effort.
- A home received by gift or inheritance to one spouse is often separate property, but that can change if it was retitled in both names or mixed with marital money.
These questions can get complicated quickly. Records such as closing documents, deeds, refinance paperwork, and proof of where down payment funds came from can make a real difference.
Your Main Options for the House
1. Sell the Home and Divide the Proceeds
Selling the house and splitting the net proceeds is often the cleanest break. Neither spouse remains tied to the other through a mortgage, and each can use their share to start fresh.
Keep in mind that selling involves costs such as agent commissions, repairs, and closing expenses, which reduce the equity available to divide. Couples also need to agree on the listing price, who handles showings, and who pays the mortgage until closing.
2. One Spouse Buys Out the Other
If one spouse wants to stay, they may be able to buy out the other spouse’s equity share. This is common when a parent wants children to stay in the same home and school.
A buyout usually requires:
- An agreed value for the home, often through an appraisal
- A calculation of equity (value minus the mortgage balance)
- A way to pay the other spouse’s share, through cash, a refinance, or trading other assets
- Refinancing the mortgage into the keeping spouse’s name alone
That last point matters. A quitclaim deed transfers ownership, but it does not remove a spouse from the mortgage. If the loan is not refinanced, the spouse who moved out could still be responsible if payments are missed.
3. Keep the Home Together for a Set Period
Some couples agree to keep co-owning the house for a defined period, for example, until the youngest child finishes school or until the housing market improves. One spouse usually lives in the home while both remain on the title.
This option can offer stability for children, but it requires clear, written terms covering who pays the mortgage, taxes, insurance, and repairs, when the home will be sold, and how the proceeds will be divided. Without those details, disagreements can resurface later.
4. Trade the House for Other Assets
Instead of dividing the home itself, one spouse may keep the house while the other receives assets of similar value, such as a larger share of retirement accounts, investments, or savings.
This approach can avoid the need for a cash buyout, but not all assets are equal. A dollar of home equity, a dollar in a retirement account, and a dollar in a checking account may carry different tax consequences and levels of access. Understanding those differences before agreeing to a trade is important.
Questions to Ask Before You Decide
Before choosing an option, it may help to work through these questions:
- What is the home actually worth? A formal appraisal is often more reliable than an online estimate or an informal price opinion.
- How much equity is there? Subtract the mortgage balance and any home equity loans from the value.
- Can I afford it on one income? Consider the mortgage, property taxes, insurance, utilities, and maintenance, not just the monthly payment.
- Can I qualify to refinance alone? Talking with a lender early can prevent surprises.
- What is best for the children? Stability can be valuable, but so is a home a parent can realistically maintain. If custody is part of your case, our St. Louis custody lawyers can help you think through how housing fits into a parenting plan.
- What are the tax consequences? Transfers between spouses as part of a divorce are often not taxed at the time of transfer, but the capital gains exclusion on a later sale depends on ownership, use, and filing status. It is wise to speak with a tax professional.
Talk With a St. Louis Divorce Lawyer About Your Home
Deciding what to do with the family home is a significant financial and personal decision, and you do not have to make it alone. Attorney David S. Betz and our team can help you understand how Missouri law may apply to your home, compare your options, and work toward an agreement that fits your family’s needs.