divorce

Do I Still Need a Divorce Lawyer If We Are in Agreement?

March 2, 2020 by David Betz

Sometimes couples going through a divorce don’t have a lot of disagreements between them. If you are one of them, then you might think that it’s not necessary to speak with a St. Louis divorce attorney. However, being represented by a lawyer should not only be reserved for difficult cases but should be a legal precaution anytime you are going through a life-changing decision that gets you to court.

Your Spouse Might Take Advantage of Your Lack of Legal Representation

If your spouse has a divorce lawyer and you don’t, you can expect them to have the upper hand when it comes to the division of assets, the divorce settlement, and custody of your minor children. Even if you still trust them not to purposely attack your best interest, their lawyer will make sure that they will get the most out of the divorce.

What you consider to be a clear agreement between you and your spouse might actually hold conditions that you don’t know about, and being confronted with an elaborate strategy during the trial will catch you off-guard.

The Law Isn’t Always Black and White

If the reason why you don’t want to hire a divorce lawyer is thinking that you know exactly what the outcome will be for you and your spouse, think again. The law has certain areas that are not black and white, and are subject to interpretation. These bits are what lawyers know how to work with to win a case, and a lack of experience could cause you to miss out on what you are entitled to.

Attorneys Are Not Allowed to Represent Both Parties in a Litigation Case

Some couples are considering getting the same lawyer to represent both of them in their divorce case, to minimize costs and potential conflict. In Missouri, the law prevents an attorney to represent opposing parties in a litigation case, because it’s a clear conflict of interests. Even if the two spouses believe that their unofficial agreement covered all the details of their future divorce, some unexpected issues will arise and the lawyer will have to choose sides.

Costs Shouldn’t Prevent You from Receiving Legal Help

Most of the times, when clients ask about this possibility, it’s because they want to reduce costs. The truth is that divorce is one of those situations in life when you have to make sacrifices to defend your own interests, especially when children are involved. Fortunately, there are many solutions for people who cannot afford a down payment for a lawyer, so ask your attorney about financing options.

Getting legal representation is the best thing you can do when going through a divorce because it protects you from many mistakes that can affect the rest of your family’s life. Get in touch with an experienced St. Louis divorce lawyer today to discuss your options.

Speak With an Experienced Attorney

Our firm uses experience, good communication, and availability to help families get through life changing events.

Call (314) 801-8488

Mar 11, 2020 @ 4:07 pm

What If My Child Does Not Want to Visit My Former Spouse?

January 14, 2020 by David Betz

The Missouri family courts are of the opinion that a child’s best interests are generally served when they have regular and continual contact with both parents. However, what happens when your child’s personal interest does not match with their best interests? How do you approach the problem of your child not wanting to visit your former spouse?

To begin, it is important to have a direct and respectful conversation about their responsibility to spend time with both parents. Find out if there is perhaps an underlying reason why they do not want to go. Maybe they are anxious about going to a new house or seeing their parents in new living arrangements. Just as this is not an easy transition for you, it is also hard on them. Let them know that even though many things are changing, that the love of both parents for your child is still as strong as ever.

As with many other times in a child’s life, discipline may be necessary. How do you punish your child for misbehavior? Do you take away a favorite electronic? Maybe extra chores around your house or restrictions from playing games are the answer. You may not be able to enforce these restrictions at your former spouse’s home but it is important to set these boundaries under your roof.

Finally, therapy may be in order, not just for your child, but perhaps together. A trained therapist can access the situation and provide guidance for this uncomfortable transition in your child’s life. They can offer advice on how to work through the pain and myriad of feelings both you and your child are experiencing.

So long as your child’s animosity towards visitation is not born of fear for their safety, the courts will expect you to enforce visitation. Your child may be acting out, but children often do that when facing change. Listen to what they have to say, try and be understanding, but firm.

Jan 14, 2020 @ 11:23 pm

What is Discernment Counseling and How Can It Help?

December 10, 2019 by David Betz

st. louis couple at disernment counseling

When your marriage has a lot of issues, but you and your spouse still want to fight to keep it alive, you may go see a marriage counselor. When both of you are done fighting and ready to move on, you generally file for divorce.

But what happens when you’re not sure which of the two is the right decision? Or when the spouses have entirely different views on the subject?

There may be an answer to that: discernment counseling.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment counseling is a form of counseling that helps couples understand their relationship better so that they can know if they should give it another shot or part ways entirely. A relationship specialist will guide you and your spouse towards a common answer.

The methods used in this form of therapy can be different, but they generally involved both parties openly discussing how they feel about their lives, relationships, dynamics, etc.

The Benefits of Discernment Counseling

Ending a relationship is difficult, even if one party has decided what they want to do. Discernment counseling can create a safe space where both spouses can hear each other, and understand where both are coming from.

Because the sessions are guided by an expert, both sets of opinions can be equally verbalized, which in real life may not always happen as one spouse can easily take over the conversation. The result of the counseling, however, is always up to the spouses – they will inevitably decide if they want to try again, or part ways.

It Is Not Marriage Counseling

It’s important not to confuse discernment counseling with marriage counseling. In the latter, the partners work towards fixing their relationship, and the counselor may have a more active approach in helping them do it – role play, home exercises, advice, etc. Generally, the therapist will try to identify the root of the problem (lack of communication, feelings of neglect, etc.), and design their sessions to address it.

In discernment counseling, on the other hand, the counselor generally does not try to help the couple fix their issues. More, they try to make sure all viewpoints are expressed and heard, so that in the end the couple can amicably reach a conclusion.

Is It for You?

That’s difficult to say. Sometimes, one of the spouses can be very sure of the path they want to take. Still, discernment counseling can still be beneficial because by allowing them to communicate, they can preserve a better relationship regardless of what happens next. And in case the children are also involved, maintaining a good relationship with the other parent is essential.

St. Louis Divorce Attorneys

Are you considering filing for divorce? If there are also custody matters in play, then you may need the assistance of an experienced St. Louis family lawyer. At The Betz Law Firm we can help make sure the process goes as fast as possible, without creating additional pain. Give us a call today at (314) 801-8488.

Dec 10, 2019 @ 5:58 pm

Is It Legal to Record Your Spouse in Missouri?

November 14, 2019 by David Betz

It would be best to discuss this strategy with your divorce attorney and decide together if it will help your case or damage it.

Divorce can be a messy business, and no one wants to get caught in a “he-said-she-said” situation in front of the court. That is why hard evidence during a divorce is very important when building your case. In situations involving conflicts, like abusive relationships, complicated financial arrangements, custody of children, etc., recording conversations between you and your spouse can provide crucial information to the court.

Is It Legal to Record Your Spouse in Missouri?

The answer is yes, as long as you are participating in the conversation. Missouri, like federal law, has a “one-party consent” law, which means that you don’t have to get the confirmation of consent from all the participants in the discussion, but only from one of them. This includes private, public, wired or live conversations that you think may bring you an advantage in court when divorcing.

When Am I Not Allowed to Record My Spouse?

Any recording of a conversation you are not taking part in, without knowing or consent of at least one of the participants is considered illegal, whether you are recording live, phone or another type of conversation.

The Missouri law covers conversations that are expected to be private, so exceptions may apply to discussions which take place in public areas, where you could expect someone overhearing what you say and even record it without needing consent. But be careful, as the circumstances will not allow you to do so in most cases.

Another important thing to consider is: are all participants to the conversation in Missouri at the time it is recorded? This is important, as those who were in a different state may use that state’s law against you if it’s not a “one-party consent” state.

How Does the Court View Secret Recordings?

Even if Missouri is a state that allows you to legally record a conversation between you and another person, it doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to do it for your divorce trial. The court generally frowns upon secret recordings and if they don’t bring relevant information, they are not giving you a great advantage. Also, you should be able to justify why you had to use this method in the first place.

Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney

To conclude, in Missouri you are able to record a conversation and use it in your divorce file if it contains relevant information and if you participated in that conversation, or you have consent from another participant. However, it would be best to discuss this strategy with your St. Louis divorce lawyer and decide together if it will help your case or damage it.

If you have any questions concerning your case, contact The Betz Law Firm at (314) 801-8488 or fill out our online contact form. We are committed to guiding our clients through the court process with same level of professionalism that we would wish for our own family members. We are aware of the trust our clients place in us with the future of their family and we strive daily to earn it.

Aug 18, 2020 @ 3:46 pm

Is My Inheritance at Risk During My Divorce Trial?

November 1, 2019 by David Betz

Because every divorce case is unique and holds information about intricate life-stories of at least two people, the court carefully analyzes each situation before they give a final verdict.

An inheritance can have great emotional value for a person when the inherited goods come from a family member. Naturally, if such an asset becomes the subject of a dispute during a divorce, arguments can get heated.

Every state has its own set of laws regarding divorce, so it’s very important to know them well before pleading your case in front of the court. Because every divorce case is unique and holds information about intricate life-stories of at least two people, the court carefully analyzes each situation before they give a final verdict.

Missouri Laws for Inheritance and Divorce

Property division in Missouri is done equitably between spouses after it is settled what is marital and nonmarital property. In a divorce, only the marital property is split, meaning goods and money that were not co-mingled.

The key thing to getting the whole inheritance or splitting it with your spouse is how you used it after getting it. If you have kept it in a separate, personal account and did not invest it in common property which will be classified as marital in the divorce, your inheritance will generally stay with you.

However, if you put that inheritance in a joint account and/or used it to buy marital property, like a house on both of your names, let’s say, it may be split in between you and your spouse.

In Missouri, the court only has the power to divide what is marital property between the spouses. But there’s an important catch: all property is considered marital until one of the spouses demonstrates otherwise. In other words, you need to provide documentation for any money or assets that you consider to be yours exclusively.

Commingled Property

Because the cases when inheritances are kept exclusively in a personal account are relatively rare, you need to understand more about commingled property. This happens when you use inherited money and invest it in marital property. In Missouri, marital property is defined when both commingling and intent are present, but the only sure way to keep your inheritance personal is to just keep it in a separate account.

Get Help from a St. Louis Divorce Lawyer

It may seem like everything is clear and simple, but the truth of the matter is that each case brings something new to the table, and the court often takes its time to evaluate the equity condition thoroughly. If you worry about having to split your inheritance during your divorce, the best option is to talk to an experienced St. Louis family law attorney and see what you should expect. That way you can plan accordingly and make an informed decision. Give us a call today at (314) 801-8488 .

Nov 13, 2019 @ 2:17 am

Why You Should Update Your Will After a Divorce

October 1, 2019 by David Betz

The aftermath of a divorce echoes in all aspects of your life, from the custody of your minor children to your financial situation, business plans, real estate, and so on.

Divorce is a major change in your social and legal status and you need to make arrangements to adapt to your new life. One of the things you should consider updating after a divorce is your will.

Changing the Executor of Your Will

One of the first modifications is to change the executor of your will it is currently your former spouse. Being an executor is a huge responsibility and you should nominate a person you trust, and who can carry on with the executor duties. In Missouri, the state generally revokes authority roles from your ex following a divorce, so be prepared to choose some alternatives for the executor role.

Property Included in the Will

After the division of assets, you may (almost surely) not have the same property included in your will. Some of it is now owned solely by your ex-spouse, so it should be removed from your will. Following the same principle, if you have gained some properties through your divorce, you might want to include these in your will.

Guardian Nominations for Minor Children

If you and your spouse have minor children, you should revise the guardian role after you get a divorce. It will serve as a strong argument if something happens to you and you want your children to be raised by your own family. This should be discussed with your attorney.

How to Change Your Will in Missouri

You can change your existing will through a codicil. A codicil needs to be witnessed by two-three adults who are sound of mind. If this proves to be too complicated, you can just cancel your existing will and write a new one.

What Happens If You Don’t Update Your Will?

If you don’t get to update your estate planning documents after your divorce, the state of Missouri will generally govern who will inherit your property and who is left with responsibilities such as being an executor or guardian to your minor children.

The details of your will are best discussed with an experienced attorney. They will guide you toward the best decision for your children and the other persons in your life that you would want to inherit your property. Discuss the details surrounding your divorce with an experienced attorney by calling The Betz Law Firm at (314) 801-8488.

Oct 21, 2019 @ 9:13 pm