St. Louis Divorce & Family Law Attorney - The Betz Law Firm

St. Louis Divorce & Family Law Attorney - The Betz Law Firm

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Why You Need to Be Proactive During Your Divorce

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During a divorce, it is important to remember that you do have some level of control over the situation, and can influence the results in your favor.

Getting a divorce is one of the most emotionally taxing things you can go through. While a natural response to this type of trauma may be to shrink back and do as little as possible, it is in your best interest to take a proactive role in the process. Here’s why.

Increasing Your Feelings of Control

One of the best aspects of being proactive in your divorce is feeling like you have some level of control over the situation. Often, people feel powerless during legal proceedings because they do not understand that world very well. Still, a lack of knowledge about the law should not keep you from taking an active role. Doing so will keep you in the loop, allows you to make informed decisions, and will give you a sense of control.

Informing Your Lawyer

Your family law attorney will be crucial throughout your divorce. This is because you need a professional to navigate you through the often complicated process of splitting from your partner. While attorneys know the nuts and bolts aspects of divorce through in through, they cannot read minds. The result is that you must discuss with them what your priorities are. A typical example of where this idea is important is choosing when to negotiate further and when to settle. You might have more or less patience for a lengthy divorce, so your lawyer must know that before proceeding.

Preparing Your Children

As hard as your divorce is for you, it will likely be even more difficult for your children. The reason is that they have less life experience and may not be able to handle their emotions as well as adults. As a result, it is your responsibility to communicate with them and assure them that everything is going to be okay. Parents that shrink back in these situations will do their children a disservice and possibly damage the relationship going forward.

Not Making Critical Mistakes

An excellent strategy during a divorce is making an itemized list of every asset you share with your partner and obtaining documentation to back it up. An inactive divorce participant will leave this task up to somebody else and might end up losing a significant amount of assets in the process.

Getting a Better Deal

The ultimate result of you communicating your lawyer and minimizing mistakes is a better deal for you. The reason this outcome is so important is that your divorce terms will likely last for years or decades. A time scale like that means the stakes are incredibly high, so getting the best possible deal is crucial.

We hope that this article has motivated you to be more involved in your divorce. Choosing the right St. Louis divorce lawyer is incredibly important, but it isn’t everything. Remember, you play a crucial role too, and can significantly impact the result of your split. Remember that you do have some level of control over the situation, and can influence the results in your favor.

Speak with an experienced St. Louis Divorce Attorney at The Betz Law Firm :: Call (314) 801-8488

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:10 pm

5 Reasons to Consider Living Separately from Your Spouse During Your Divorce

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One of the decisions couples need to make when getting a divorce is whether or not they want to live separately during the process.

While living separately during a divorce may seem necessary to some, a significant portion of couples do not, with the most common factors being saving money and giving continuity to their children’s lives. However, here is why living separately may be the right solution for you.

live separately during divorce

Your Emotional State

When two people decide it is time to get divorced, they often do so after years of negative emotions. What happens is that they reach a breaking point, and at least one person cannot go on with the relationship. If this description matches your mindset, it may be toxic to stay in the same space as your partner. The better move for your emotional state may be to have one person leave the situation and allow for healing.

It Might Be Better For the Children

One of the typical justifications for why people stay is so that their children still have two parents in the house. While noble, this approach often backfires. The reason is that couples who are on the brink of divorce often don’t get along. As a result, their children hear their arguments and tend to understand what is going on beneath the surface. This effect can have worse consequences than one parent moving out.

One Person is Likely Leaving at Some Point

If you’re getting a divorce, you and your partner will generally separate at some point. That can be early in the process or later in it, but in most cases it will happen at some point. What you might decide as a result of this truth is that you should make the switch as soon as possible. Staying is delaying the inevitable, which can have emotional consequences.

Building a Better Future

People who are in negative relationships often find that they can spread their wings and develop an incredible amount once they separate for their spouses. Whether that means seeing other people, trying new activities, or reconnecting with old friends, living with your current partner may hamper the process of moving on.

There is a Reason Why You’re Separating

Some couples protest to all of these reasons with legitimate points of their own. Typical points include them being civil with each other, not fighting at all in front of their children, and even planning to live together after the divorce is finalized. If that is the case for you, it may be time to revisit why you’re separating in the first place. If it isn’t, then perhaps some distance is a good thing.

One of the things St. Louis family law attorneys often see is couples attempting to live together during the splitting process. While this arrangement can work for some, it is often a bad idea for everyone involved. We hope that, whatever your decision is, it will lead to a happier and brighter future for both you and your family.

At The Betz Law Firm, we are committed to getting our clients the results they deserve and are able to apply our substantial experience in family law to that end. Give us a call today at (314) 801-8488.

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:10 pm

6 Common Mistakes That Can Negatively Impact Divorce

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When it comes to divorce, some mistakes are more common than others.

What makes highlighting them so useful is that doing so stands to save a significant amount of people from making errors when going through a divorce. This can protect them from monetary costs, wasting time, and experiencing many negative emotions. The following are six common mistakes that will very likely negatively impact your divorce case.

parents fighting in front of their child

Not Accounting For Assets

Marriage makes you and your partner one legal entity. One result of that is you sharing financial assets. It is crucial to understand every one of these accounts and items before you finalize your divorce. If you do not, you could end up losing a hefty portion of what you deserve. An excellent way to avoid this outcome is hiring a financial professional to assess your situation.

Fighting With Your Ex

Fighting with your ex will only lead to more bitterness and a slower legal process. Not only will you pay for this behavior in negative emotion, but you will also quickly amass legal bills. Neither of those outcomes is preferable, so you should always do your best to be collaborative.

Involving Your Children

While you should communicate with your children about the divorce, you should never use them to try and get back at your ex. Doing so will be a negative experience for everyone involved and could lead to long-term relationship damage. Instead, try to do what’s best for your kids, no matter how bad your relationship is with your spouse.

Being Rude to the Judge

If you end up in court for your divorce, you’ll have to see a judge. That person will listen to your case, provide some guidance, and make crucial decisions if needed. One mistake people often make is being rude to the judge. This kind of behavior can come back to haunt you later on, as that person wields a significant amount of power over your future.

Not Being Actively Involved

As good as your lawyer might be, you won’t get the divorce results you want unless you play an active role. The reason is that legal professionals aren’t mind readers. You’ll have to communicate with your attorney if you want negotiations to go as planned.

Settling Too Quickly

Deciding when to settle and when to fight for more is best discussed with your lawyer. What this choice will come down to is the offer on the table and your priorities. No matter what, you should never take a bad deal. It is usually much better to spend a bit more time negotiating and get better terms as a result.

While your St. Louis family law attorney will shoulder a significant portion of the responsibility in your split, you will still play a vital role. Part of it is resisting the temptation to be disengaged, be rude to the judge, fight with your ex, or exhibit any other behavior we detailed on this list. If you can manage to do so, you increase your chance of a better outcome.

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:06 pm

The 7 Steps to Take Immediately After Deciding You Want a Divorce

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Though deciding to divorce is emotional, you can prepare yourself for the road ahead by carrying out the 7 steps on this list.

Spouses splitting up is rarely a happy experience. Still, people that are about to undergo this legal process can make things easy on themselves by taking some preliminary steps like educating themselves, figuring out logistics, speaking with an experienced divorce attorney, and more. Here are seven steps to take immediately after deciding you want a divorce.

Accept Your Decision

Sadness, regret, and other negative emotions often follow the decision to get a divorce. If this happens to you, you must do your best to forgive yourself and accept your choice. Doing so can be tough, but remember how difficult marriages are. Try not to blame yourself or anyone else.

Obtain a Foundation of Knowledge

If you have no prior knowledge of divorce law, your next move will be educating yourself. That could include reading legal articles, browsing divorce blogs, and maybe purchasing some books. Doing so will give you a foundation of understanding that you can utilize throughout the divorce process. Your lawyer will pick up the slack eventually, but knowing critical information on your own is both useful and empowering.

Straighten Out Your Priorities

The overarching goal of divorce is to reasonably split up everything you share with your spouse. Still, you and your lawyer will prioritize some terms over others. One good thing to think about before the process begins is what you want the most. That answer could include your home, financial accounts, custody, or any other crucial matter.

Figure Out Logistics

You will figure out long-term logistics in the divorce proceedings, but you need a short-term plan too. What you need to decide on are matters like where you will live, where your children will live, and how often your kids will see each spouse.

Collect Financial Documents

As we mentioned above, going through a divorce is essentially splitting up everything you and your spouse own. One of the most important aspects of that process is your finances. You’ll want to collect documents like tax returns, pay stubs, and mortgages so that you have your own records of all the things you share.

Plan a Time to Talk to Your Family

You’ll need to inform your family about your plans before proceeding. First, break the news to your spouse. Once you do, you can collaborate on a strategy to tell your children. Both of those conversations will be difficult, but necessary. Make sure you prepare accordingly.

Find the Right Lawyer

At this point, the official divorce process is about to begin. Now it is time to hire an experienced lawyer and move forward with your case.

A couple generally doesn’t go into a marriage planning to divorce, but it is sometimes their only option. Though making this decision is emotional, you can prepare yourself for the road ahead by carrying out the 7 steps on this list.

Call for a FREE 30 Minute Phone Consultation

(314) 801-8488

Aug 2, 2019 @ 4:07 pm

How to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce

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Here are 5 tips to make telling your children about your divorce as easy as possible.

Deciding to get a divorce comes with a significant amount of tasks to complete. You may be seeking a divorce attorney, split assets, negotiate over custody, and much more. One of the hardest of those tasks is telling your children about the divorce. Here are 5 tips to make it as easy as possible.

Work Out the Logistics Beforehand

When you tell your children about your divorce, they will likely have a few logistical questions right away. They might ask you which parent will be moving out of the house, who they will live with, who will take them to school, and more. Knowing the answers to as many of these questions as possible will make your talk go much more smoothly. Though you won’t have every detail of your divorce settled, you should know what the next few weeks will look like.

Tell them as a Team

The best way to talk to your children is as a team. That way, they do not make assumptions based on which parent speaks to them first. Doing so can be difficult for some couples, as they are already at a point where they don’t want to see each other. While that emotion is fair, you should do your best to make this particular talk a team effort. If you cannot, try to make your conversation with your children about your relationship, not the faults of your former partner.

Choose a Quiet Location and Calm Time

One of the worst things you can do in this situation is to talk to your children in a public space. You never know how they are going to handle it, so it is best to have this discussion in a quiet location. The best is doing it in your home, where your children can retreat to their bedrooms if needed. Secondly, have your talk during a calm time, like a quiet weekend afternoon. You don’t want to put them through an emotional rollercoaster and then send them to school or activities. Doing so will give them time to process the news before facing the world again.

Don’t Blame Anyone

People’s natural inclination in situations like this is to blame. For a child, they will usually look to one of their parents or themselves to assign fault. You must do your best to avoid this trap. If they develop negative feelings for you or your spouse, that will splinter an important relationship. If they blame themselves, they could experience much more pain than necessary.

Keep the Details to Yourself

No matter what conditions surround your divorce, you should keep the details to yourself when talking with younger kids. This is true even if you feel that one party was clearly at fault.

Telling your children about your divorce is never easy. Still, following these tips can make it much better than the alternative.

Call for a FREE 30 Minute Phone Consultation

(314) 801-8488

Jun 24, 2019 @ 5:09 pm

The 4 Most Contentious Issues in Divorce

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If you are considering a divorce, it is important to understand where you may hit a snag in your proceedings.

If you pay attention to popular culture, you may think that divorces are always stressful and frustrating from start to finish. Fortunately, this is not always the case. In reality, many splits are relatively straightforward, aside from a few terms causing strife between the two parties. Still, those issues can sometimes derail a divorce entirely. Here are 4 of the most contentious aspect of divorce cases.

4 most contentious issues in divorce

Child Support

When you and your ex-spouse decide on a monthly child support sum, the paying party is almost always expected to send money every month until the child turns 18. As you can imagine, this extended length of payment makes the stakes incredibly high. The United States Census Bureau has found that the average child support payment is $430 per month. Depending on the age of your children at the time of divorce, there might be hundreds of months before all of your children become adults. Additionally, certain factors can raise that monthly payment significantly, making this term even more contentious.

Alimony

Everything that we wrote about child support applies to alimony too. Because one party is required to pay the agreed-upon amount over and over again for many years, couples often argue heavily about the sum. An additional factor that makes this term so combative is that the money is not designated to the children. The result is that the paying party is especially unhappy because they feel their ex is getting all of the benefits.

Splitting Physical Assets

While often antagonistic, splitting dollar amounts and deciding on monthly payments are relatively straightforward processes. When it comes to physical assets, negotiations become much more complicated. The reason is that you cannot split these items down the middle. Instead, both parties feel emotionally attached to their shared possessions, and deciding who gets what is a difficult process. The most prevalent issues in this category are usually high-value items like houses and cars, as well as sentimental ones. Splitting assets is an area where both parties need to stay in control of their emotions to prevent negotiations from getting out of control.

Custody

As we go down this list, the terms get more and more complicated. First, there were two forms of payment. Next, splitting up expensive and sentimental items. Last, we have the most frustrating of all: Your children. If the two parties involved in a divorce can respect each other and settle on a fair deal, everybody wins. Unfortunately, the opposite frequently occurs in the form of one or both parents trying to take too much of their child’s time.

If you are considering a divorce, you should know where you may hit a snag in your proceedings. While that could be anywhere, child support, alimony, physical assets, and custody are the most likely to cause friction. That being said, hiring the right St. Louis divorce lawyer will do wonders for your case. Give us a call at (314) 801-8488 and see why many St. Louis residents trust the Betz Law Firm.

Aug 2, 2019 @ 3:43 pm