divorce

How to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce

November 1, 2018 by David Betz

Here are 5 tips to make telling your children about your divorce as easy as possible.

Deciding to get a divorce comes with a significant amount of tasks to complete. You may be seeking a divorce attorney, split assets, negotiate over custody, and much more. One of the hardest of those tasks is telling your children about the divorce. Here are 5 tips to make it as easy as possible.

Work Out the Logistics Beforehand

When you tell your children about your divorce, they will likely have a few logistical questions right away. They might ask you which parent will be moving out of the house, who they will live with, who will take them to school, and more. Knowing the answers to as many of these questions as possible will make your talk go much more smoothly. Though you won’t have every detail of your divorce settled, you should know what the next few weeks will look like.

Tell them as a Team

The best way to talk to your children is as a team. That way, they do not make assumptions based on which parent speaks to them first. Doing so can be difficult for some couples, as they are already at a point where they don’t want to see each other. While that emotion is fair, you should do your best to make this particular talk a team effort. If you cannot, try to make your conversation with your children about your relationship, not the faults of your former partner.

Choose a Quiet Location and Calm Time

One of the worst things you can do in this situation is to talk to your children in a public space. You never know how they are going to handle it, so it is best to have this discussion in a quiet location. The best is doing it in your home, where your children can retreat to their bedrooms if needed. Secondly, have your talk during a calm time, like a quiet weekend afternoon. You don’t want to put them through an emotional rollercoaster and then send them to school or activities. Doing so will give them time to process the news before facing the world again.

Don’t Blame Anyone

People’s natural inclination in situations like this is to blame. For a child, they will usually look to one of their parents or themselves to assign fault. You must do your best to avoid this trap. If they develop negative feelings for you or your spouse, that will splinter an important relationship. If they blame themselves, they could experience much more pain than necessary.

Keep the Details to Yourself

No matter what conditions surround your divorce, you should keep the details to yourself when talking with younger kids. This is true even if you feel that one party was clearly at fault.

Telling your children about your divorce is never easy. Still, following these tips can make it much better than the alternative.

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Jun 24, 2019 @ 5:09 pm

The 4 Most Contentious Issues in Divorce

October 22, 2018 by David Betz

If you are considering a divorce, it is important to understand where you may hit a snag in your proceedings.

If you pay attention to popular culture, you may think that divorces are always stressful and frustrating from start to finish. Fortunately, this is not always the case. In reality, many splits are relatively straightforward, aside from a few terms causing strife between the two parties. Still, those issues can sometimes derail a divorce entirely. Here are 4 of the most contentious aspect of divorce cases.

Child Support

When you and your ex-spouse decide on a monthly child support sum, the paying party is almost always expected to send money every month until the child turns 18. As you can imagine, this extended length of payment makes the stakes incredibly high. The United States Census Bureau has found that the average child support payment is $430 per month. Depending on the age of your children at the time of divorce, there might be hundreds of months before all of your children become adults. Additionally, certain factors can raise that monthly payment significantly, making this term even more contentious.

Alimony

Everything that we wrote about child support applies to alimony too. Because one party is required to pay the agreed upon amount over and over again for many years, couples often argue heavily about the sum. An additional factor that makes this term so combative is that the money is not designated to the children. The result is that the paying party is especially unhappy because they feel their ex is getting all of the benefits.

Splitting Physical Assets

While often antagonistic, splitting dollar amounts and deciding on monthly pay are relatively straightforward processes. When it comes to physical assets, negotiations become much more complicated. The reason is that you cannot split these items down the middle. Instead, both parties feel emotionally attached to their shared possessions, and deciding who gets what is a difficult process. The most prevalent issues in this category are usually high-value items like houses and cars, as well as sentimental ones. Splitting assets is an area where both parties need to stay in control of their emotions to prevent negotiations from getting out of control.

Custody

As we go down this list, the terms get more and more complicated. First, there were two forms of payment. Next, splitting up expensive and sentimental items. Last, we have the most frustrating of all: Your children. If the two parties involved in a divorce can respect each other and settle on a fair deal, everybody wins. Unfortunately, the opposite frequently occurs in the form of one or both parents trying to take too much of their child’s time.

If you are considering a divorce, you should know where you may hit a snag in your proceedings. While that could be anywhere, child support, alimony, physical assets, and custody are the most likely to cause friction. That being said, hiring the right St. Louis divorce lawyer will do wonders for your case. Give us a call at (314) 801-8488 and see why many St. Louis residents trust the Betz Law Firm.

Oct 8, 2018 @ 5:47 pm

5 Tips on Handling a Divorce That Goes to Court

October 8, 2018 by David Betz

Here are some important tips you should keep in mind if you will be going before a judge.

Divorce attorneys and their clients often prefer to settle outside of court, rather than taking up more time and energy by seeing a judge. Unfortunately, there are times a favorable settlement cannot be reached and it is recommended that you go to court. Here are some important tips you should keep in mind if you will be going before a judge.

Trust Your Lawyer

If you and your lawyer decide to go to court, it is often because your case is especially difficult. If it were not, you would have likely settled outside of court long ago. Now that you are taking this step, you will place even more trust on your lawyer. The reason is that going to court often comes with a significant amount of complexity. The language may at times change to legal jargon, your lawyer speaks on your behalf the vast majority of the time, and there are hundreds of best practices that should be followed when seeing a judge. For these reasons, it is important to trust in your lawyer more than ever.

Prepare to Make a Statement

Though your lawyer will handle the vast majority of your dealings in the court, you may testify on your behalf. When you do, there are a few guidelines you should follow. First, speak loudly and clearly, as you do not want any misinterpretations. Second, get to the point quickly, so you do not waste time with extra information. Last, you are legally obligated to tell the truth, so make sure you do so at all times.

Dress Appropriately

In a perfect world, the details of your case would be the only things that matter in court. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Instead, you must present yourself in an appropriate manner by dressing appropriately. If you are unclear on what that means, ask your lawyer and they will be happy to tell you. The silver lining of this guideline is that you can get into a judge’s good graces by dressing well and showing respect to their courtroom.

Decide on What is Most Important

Judges have limited time for your case, so you should only bring the most important matters to them. A typical example is child custody specifics, which is one of the crucial aspects of a divorce settlement. On the other hand, even if you are passionate about a relatively insignificant term, you may want to keep it out of the court.

Keep a Cool Head

One of the worst things you can do for your case is losing your temper. If your ex-spouse is especially difficult, there may be times when you want to. Still, you must resist. Staying calm and collected throughout the proceedings will impress your judge and increase your chances of obtaining a favorable ruling.

While going to court may sound like a dramatic and stressful experience, it usually is not. More commonly, it will be relatively smooth and straightforward. Still, it isn’t always easy. There are some things you need to prepare for to give yourself the best shot at getting the deal you deserve. Once you do, you can let your St. Louis divorce lawyer take care of the rest.

Call for a free 30 minute phone consultation

(314) 801-8488

Oct 8, 2018 @ 5:08 pm

What Is a Collaborative Divorce?

August 7, 2018 by David Betz

Nobody gets married thinking they will need to get a divorce, but if it comes to that, a collaborative divorce is the way to go.

There are a lot of ways a divorce can go wrong. The parties involved may hate each other, they may fight over petty differences, the process may take an unnecessarily long time, and both sides may come out with an incredible amount of frustration. Fortunately, this is not always how all divorces go. In fact, divorces that are characterized by respect and empathy are so common that they have their own name: Collaborative Divorce. Nobody gets married thinking they will need to get a divorce, but if it comes to that, a collaborative divorce is the way to go.

Mindset

What makes many divorces so negative is the mindset that people bring into them. They are often angry with their spouse and how their marriage dissolved, and the result of the anger is trying to “win” the settlement. In a collaborative divorce, the mindset of both parties is vastly different. Instead of trying to win, they try to collaborate, problem-solve, and come to an agreement that is fair for both people.

Advantages

Many advantages come with collaborative divorce. The most significant of them are listed below.

Save Time – When you have a collaborative mindset, you do not get hung up on petty issues. Instead, you push your ego aside and work disagreements out promptly.

Save Money – The time you are saving is also the time that you need to pay a lawyer for. The quicker a divorce is, the fewer legal fees you will pay.

Smooth Negotiations – Divorce negotiations are often characterized by intense fighting and frustration. When both parties pledge to be fair, these discussions are much more relaxed.

A Fair Deal – The end goal of your divorce is to split your lives up in a fair manner. That includes your finances, assets, and time with children. A collaborative divorce is more likely to give both parties the best deal possible.

The Process

The process of a collaborative divorce is a lot like a regular divorce, except every stage is smoother and friendlier. First, both parties hire a lawyer. Next, they start to negotiate the terms of the divorce point by point. Inevitably, you will come to an area of disagreement. When this happens, both parties remember that they want to be collaborative and adopt that mindset. If they do so effectively, they will be able to compromise on every issue until the negotiations are finished. If done correctly, a collaborative divorce may never have to go to court.

Your divorce does not have to be the kind of nightmare that you see on TV and hear about from friends. Instead, you and your spouse can agree to adopt a collaborative mindset. When you do, you will save time, save money, have a smooth negotiating process, and get a fair deal. Ultimately, combining a collaborative mindset with a skilled St. Louis divorce lawyer eliminates a significant portion of the pain involved in the divorce process, and everyone involved is better for it.

St. Louis Divorce Attorneys At Work

Hundreds of questions come to mind as the stark reality of divorce settles in. As a firm, our goal is to help you find the answers to those questions and to begin the next phase of your life with as much ease as possible. We are dedicated to providing our clients and their families with kind, personalized, and professional legal representation throughout the entire divorce process.

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Contact The Betz Law Firm today for a free 30 minute phone consultation by calling (314) 801-8488 or by filling out our online contact form.

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Aug 7, 2018 @ 5:02 pm

4 Traits Your Divorce Attorney Should Have

July 26, 2018 by David Betz

Choosing the right St. Louis divorce lawyer to guide you through the process is vital.

Navigating through the process of a divorce can be smooth, but more often than not, it is frustrating and complicated. Trying to take on the process alone is generally difficult. If you’re planning to get a divorce, hiring a St. Louis divorce attorney to guide you through the process is a good decision. The hard part is choosing which attorney to you want to work with. Below, we explain four traits your lawyer should have.

Communication

The best attorneys know that communication is paramount throughout the process of a divorce. First, they must communicate with you to learn precisely what you’re trying to get out of the split. Second, they will need to talk with your partner and their legal representation to negotiate terms. Lastly, in the event of a court case, your lawyer will have to present arguments to a courtroom, which takes a high level of skill. Communication skills are essential in a divorce, so choose a lawyer that has them.

Experience

You do not want your attorney to be caught off guard due to inexperience. The way to avoid this is by hiring one with a significant amount of experience. Be wary of lawyers that merely dabble in divorce law. Instead, seek a provider that has many cases to pull from and scores of happy clients on their record.

Availability

One of the worst feelings in any industry is when you hire somebody and then can never reach them. This is especially true in the case of a family law attorney. When you choose yours, schedule an initial consultation and see how prompt they are with returning your calls and emails. Next, at your meeting, ask them how rapid their responses will be in the future. Odds are they will be upfront and honest about their response times.

Composure

At some point during your divorce proceedings, you might be overwhelmed by stress. While this is acceptable for you, it is not acceptable for your lawyer. If you sense that they are somebody that is easily stressed out or cracks under pressure, you may want to think twice. When things get tough, you want an attorney that will be composed.

Choosing the right St. Louis divorce lawyer to guide you through the process is vital. This is the person that is going to be at your side through the entire process, and you need them to be as effective as possible. They should have excellent communication skills, experience, availability, and composure. Your legal counsel is too important to leave to chance. Look for these traits, and you will minimize the difficulties you experience during your divorce proceedings.

Call The Betz Law Firm 24/7

(314) 801-8488

Jun 24, 2019 @ 5:16 pm

How Long Do You Have to Wait to Get Remarried After Divorce in Missouri?

May 18, 2018 by David Betz

In Missouri, there are no mandatory waiting periods for someone after a divorce is final.

The laws regarding remarrying after a divorce are determined at the state level. Some states have mandatory waiting periods before you can say “I do” again. In Missouri, there are no mandatory waiting periods for someone after a divorce is final. An individual may remarry immediately once their petition for divorce is granted in a court of law.

Although there is no legal waiting period for a person to get remarried, there might be repercussions for choosing to do so immediately. If you get remarried too quickly, things that both parties agreed upon before divorcing might be reexamined or petitioned against by your previous spouse.

Things like court-ordered alimony and, sometimes even custody arrangements, can be called into question if you marry again.

Divorce in Missouri

Missouri is considered a modified no-fault state for divorce, which means that a couple need not have a legal reason for the dissolution of marriage. If an individual is a resident in the state of Missouri for more than ninety days, then a petition for the dissolution of marriage can be completed and decided upon in about 30 days.

Once the court grants the dissolution to the petitioner, the other spouse has thirty days to appeal the decision.

When One or Both Spouses Remarry

There is no waiting period for a person who wants to remarry after the petition for divorce has been ruled on. If you apply for a marriage certificate and have been divorced for less than thirty days, then you have to put in writing that you are attempting to apply for a new marriage certificate even though your ex-partner still has time to appeal the court’s decision about your divorce.

If the ex-partner does decide to appeal the decision, then the new marriage certificate will be nullified.

Alimony

In a divorce, one spouse might ask for financial support from the other. This support is called alimony. Alimony is generally decided upon by the financial status of both parties, how long a couple has been married and how the divorce will affect each party’s standard of living.

In Missouri, if you have been granted alimony from a divorce and decide to remarry, you will likely no longer receive alimony.

Child Support

Financially speaking, being remarried will not affect how much you receive or have to pay for child support. It can, however, become a contention for child custody agreement. So, it is always best to discuss your intentions with your ex-partner.

Although there are no waiting periods in the state of Missouri regarding when someone can remarry after a divorce, it is a good idea to consider how remarrying might affect your financial status, and, in some instances, your child custody agreements. If your spouse has remarried or you intend to remarry, make sure to consult your St. Louis divorce attorney to see if there will be any impact after a new marriage certificate is signed.

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Jan 8, 2019 @ 4:05 pm