divorce

Whether you are about to get a divorce or you are already mid-way through the rollercoaster, there are plenty of actions you can take to smooth out the process.

It’s easy to understand how the divorce process can be emotionally straining for both of you, so having the right tools to cope can make a big difference.

Having a good divorce lawyer by your side that can help you deal with your emotions efficiently may be one of the most important steps to take when you are going through a divorce. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Well, let’s break down this goal into 6 smaller, achievable tasks.

Handle Your Strong Emotions

Divorce can be emotionally traumatic for people who are directly affected, mostly the spouses and their children. Strong emotions may come to the surface in the context of a battle for your assets, custody of your children, etc. When you feel anger, resentment, and panic all combined, you can say things you don’t really mean or lose your credibility. If you are struggling with this, it may be beneficial to see a therapist, your pastor or anyone who can help you manage your stress.

Assess Your Financial Situation

Part of the stress one feels during the divorce is directly linked to the changes in their financial status. It is time to assess all your income sources, properties and investments you made during the time of your marriage. Depending on the state, the division of assets will be done differently, so make sure your St. Louis attorney is knowledgeable in Missouri’s laws.

Limit or Avoid Social Media

Keep it classy, and consider limiting or staying away from social media while your divorce case is ongoing. Remember that what you post on your social media profiles could be used against you by your spouse’s attorney.

Protect the Little Ones

When there are minor children involved, divorces can be even more devastating. Protecting the feelings of your children should be the number one priority for both you and your spouse. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on their shoulders and keep their routine as unchanged as possible. They will be having a hard time too, so you as parents should do your very best to be there for them and soften the blow.

Stay Civil

No matter how wrong your spouse was towards you, speaking badly about them, offending them or launching threats will only damage your case in front of the court. Stay civil and neutral when interacting with your spouse, and don’t respond to provocation.

Provide What is Needed for the Case

Follow your attorney’s instructions closely and provide all necessary documentation for the case. Things that may seem trivial at first can help your case, so trust the experience of your attorney when making decisions or developing a strategy.

Be Determined to Follow These Steps

These seem to be reasonable steps to take, but divorce can bring the worst out of people. Staying civil and collaborating with your attorney and the court will put you in a good light and smooth out the process so you can begin to move forward with your life.

One of the most pressing issues that a divorcee must face is often a drastic change in finances.

Planning a divorce can be extremely stressful, especially if you and your spouse aren’t on amicable terms. One of the most pressing issues that a divorcee must face is often a drastic change in finances. When separating your life from your spouse, all your belongings need to be split between the two of you, and that may leave you with a financial outcome that you did not expect.

Here are five financial factors to keep in mind and be prepared for when planning your divorce.

Analyze Your Financial Status Before the Divorce

When assessing your financial situation through a divorce, it is important to have a good idea of what will change after your separation is settled. If you want a correct evaluation, then you should know precisely your pre-divorce status is. If you want to have a professional assess your situation, you may consider working with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst: this is exactly what they do for a living. They will know how certain agreement terms will affect your financial status in the near and long-term future, and they can offer advice based on all the information they have. Your St. Louis divorce attorney can help you get in contact with one.

How Will the Marital Real Estate Properties Split Between You?

Often, the most valuable marital asset of a couple is the house they live in, and any other real estate they own. When you have to split the place you have called “home” for many years, things can get emotional. It is important to be rational about splitting real estate and choose the best option for you, whether it is being left with the house or being paid a certain amount of money for it.

What Happens to the Debts You Had as a Couple?

The debts that you had as a married couple will generally be split between you just as any asset would, even if it is a debt associated with a property that your spouse will get to keep. It is very important to have records on all credit cards, mortgages and other debts that may have to be dealt with after the divorce.

How Will Taxes Be Calculated after the Divorce?

After the divorce, you cannot file taxes jointly. You need to change your status to “single” or “head of household,” depending on whether the minor children are left in your custody or not, or if you have other dependant family members to support (like married children you claim as dependants or your parents.)

Who Will Pay Child Support and/or Spousal Support?

This is another delicate and important financial issue to settle during a divorce: who will pay spousal support and/or child support? This depends a lot on the financial status, each spouse is left with after the divorce and the custody agreement that will be in place when you split.

If you have more questions about your financial status after a divorce, get in touch with an experienced St. Louis divorce lawyer and gather as many records as you can about your monetary situation and properties. Give us a call today at (314) 801-8488.

Depending on your circumstances, taking the first step and filing for divorce may put you at an advantage and give you better control over the outcome of the separation.

It’s odd to talk about getting the upper hand when it comes to a life moment so sensitive and complicated as divorce. However, having an advantage over your soon to be ex-spouse can save you a lot of emotional and financial stress.

You may think that it’s really not that important who files for divorce first as the outcome is the same regardless: you get separated from your partner. However, here is how making the first step can potentially benefit you.

You Have the Time to Find the Right Lawyer

If your spouse files first, you will be served papers. Missouri law then gives you 30 days to respond. This often leaves a person scrambling to find a lawyer to take on their case. If you file first, you will have the time you need to find a St. Louis divorce attorney who will represent your best interests and help you achieve the best possible outcome.

You Have Time to Gather All the Needed Documents

A divorce is a bureaucratic hassle. If your partner files first, then you will spend time and money trying to gather all the financial and legal documents required. If your spouse refuses to provide some of them, then things can get overly complicated and costly.

If you file first, then you will have enough time to prepare all the documents needed and save yourself money and your mental sanity.

You May Have the First Choice of Court

Divorces are filed for and settle in the jurisdiction both or one of the spouses live in. If you have property both in Missouri and Florida, for example, you may be surprised to learn the differences in the law regarding child custody, division of assets, spousal support, and so on. Moreover, if your partner moved to another state and they file for divorce first, then you will likely have to follow the laws of that jurisdiction. All that can work to your disadvantage. 

You Have Time to Prepare Yourself Emotionally

Filing for divorce first comes with emotional benefits too. If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship, taking the first step can feel empowering. You have the time to come to terms with the fact that your marriage ended and take action. Instead of reacting to your spouse filing first, you are in control of your own life and destiny. And, you need that kind of mindset during a difficult and stressful period like a divorce.

Speak With an Attorney

There will be lots of variables that you can’t control or foresee. Taking the first step and filing for divorce may put you at an advantage and give you better control over the outcome of the separation.

Discuss the pros and cons of filing for divorce first with an experienced St. Louis family law lawyer and decide together what your next move should be. Give The Betz Law Firm a call today at (314) 801-8488

Sharing parenting duties during and after a divorce can prove challenging for many.

Divorce is rarely a smooth process. You have to come to terms with the fact that your marriage has ended, navigate the legal hurdles, and try to reach an agreement with your soon to be ex-spouse. Sharing parenting duties under these circumstances can be quite difficult, especially if we’re talking about a high-conflict divorce with emotions running high on both sides.

Regardless of the pain, your spouse has caused you, try to remember one crucial thing; divorce is a traumatic experience for your kids. Try to set your hard feelings aside and think about what is best for your children.

Here are a few things you can do to successfully co-parent your child during and after a divorce.

Always Think about the Kids

As mentioned before, whatever hard feelings you may have, put them aside and try to make the process as easy for your kids as possible. Don’t push your spouse’s button and make them react negatively. Be civil and try to be respectful of each other.

Work with a Parent Facilitator

The role of a parent facilitator is to help you reach an agreement regarding co-parenting without too much drama. You may consider reaching out to one whenever you feel like you can’t reach a consensus with your ex-spouse. They will help you find a solution that has the kids’ best interest at heart and satisfies both of you.

Be Realistic

Don’t expect your spouse’s behavior to change after the divorce. If they were always breaking their promise, it is likely this habit won’t change. So, don’t work yourself up if that happens and always have a plan B in place.

Learn How to Communicate Effectively

Maybe poor communication skills were one of the reasons that lead to your divorce in the first place. However, try to make an effort and tell your ex-spouse about any changes in advance. Text them or use instant messaging apps if talking with them on the phone feels uncomfortable.

Be Flexible

It’s important to establish a proper visiting schedule with your ex-spouse, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you decide to follow it to the T every time. Allow some flexibility, especially if your kids seem to be ok with the changes. For example, be reasonable when your ex-spouse asks for an extra vacation day or to switch Thanksgiving with Christmas.

Maintain Some Traditions

Although difficult, your purpose should be to maintain a sense of normality for the kids. Divorce can be pretty difficult for them, so keeping certain traditions in place may help them feel secure. If you always had dinner together on Christmas Eve, continue doing so for their sake.

Your spouse may feel like the enemy right now, but it’s not fair for your kids to be caught in your war. Focus on what’s best for them and help them get through this experience with ease.

Have you been struggling with the thought of going through a divorce, while knowing deep down it is inevitable?

Up to 50% of married couple divorce according to some statistics. Missouri had an estimated 3.2 divorce rate in 2015. Nobody likes to think about it, but the truth shows that many couples will, unfortunately, go through the pain and suffering of a divorce.

These pains are often not limited to emotional distress. Divorcing can be a financial burden as well. That is probably why some couples postpone it: the process seems too inconvenient. But is this the best move?

Actually, it’s not.

Why You Shouldn’t Postpone a Divorce

There are a variety of reasons why people choose to postpone their divorce. It can be anything from not being able to admit to family and friends the marriage is over, not hurting the children, or even just hoping their financial situation will improve over time, and the divorce won’t be so draining for the couple.

However, in some cases postponing the divorce can prove even more expensive:

1. Longer Marriage Means More Financial Obligations

If you have to pay spousal support for a divorce, the duration of the marriage can ultimately influence how much you will have to pay, and for how long. If your marriage lasts for decades, Missouri law believes these payments should be permanent.

2. Changes in Finances

Over time, you could accumulate more assets, which means there will be more properties to split during the divorce. These are all factored in when negotiating the divorce settlement, even though the funds or property have nothing to do with the marriage – take for instance, a relative leaving you a house in their will.

3. Reconciliation often Needs Work – and Money

It can be extremely difficult to reconcile with a spouse after you decide to get a divorce. This is not something one chooses lightly, and chances are that when the idea crosses your mind, it’s because you truly need it.

Nevertheless, many couples decide to give it another try, and some even go to therapy to try and work things out. Some successfully do so and get back together. However, some studies also show that 38% of couples who seek marriage therapy end up in divorce, even though they dedicate a lot of effort into their therapy sessions.

4. It Can Drain You Emotionally

Postponing the divorce has a negative impact on your happiness as well. When a relationship isn’t working anymore, it’s always best to act, as the more time goes on, the more frustrated and resentful the two people can be. If there are also children involved, it’s imperative to remain relatively close even after the divorce.

Speak With an Attorney

Have you been struggling with the thought of going through a divorce, while knowing deep down it is inevitable? Speak with an experienced attorney today at (314) 801-8488.