Custody & parenting ยท Parenting plans
St. Louis Child Custody Lawyer
Custody cases are decided on the child’s best interests, and the parent who shows the court a realistic, workable parenting plan usually fares better than the one who argues. David Betz has practiced only family law for 25 years and is regularly appointed by St. Louis area courts as Guardian ad Litem, the person who investigates a custody case and writes the recommendation the judge reads.
The first question most people ask
How is child custody decided in Missouri?
By the child’s best interests, under Section 452.375 of the Missouri Revised Statutes. Missouri’s stated public policy is that children benefit from frequent, continuing, and meaningful contact with both parents, and since 2023 the statute carries a rebuttable presumption that equal or approximately equal parenting time serves the child. A parent who wants something different has to show why.
Legal custody, physical custody, joint and sole
Missouri splits custody into two decisions, and the judgment addresses each:
- Legal custody is decision-making: education, health care, religion, activities. Joint legal custody means the parents decide together; sole legal custody gives one parent the final say.
- Physical custody is where the child lives and when. Joint physical custody means significant time with each parent, not necessarily equal; sole physical custody means the child lives primarily with one parent and the other has parenting time.
- The statute ranks the combinations, with joint legal and joint physical custody first and sole custody to one parent last, and the court has to explain in writing why it chose anything other than the parents’ agreed plan.
“Full custody” is not a Missouri term, but people use it to mean sole legal and sole physical custody. Courts order it when the facts justify it, most often where one parent is absent, unfit, or unsafe. See understanding parenting plans in Missouri custody cases and do mothers automatically get custody in Missouri.
The eight factors a Missouri court weighs
Section 452.375 directs the court to consider all relevant factors, including these eight:
- Each parent’s wishes and the parenting plans they propose
- The child’s need for a frequent, continuing, and meaningful relationship with both parents, and each parent’s ability and willingness to perform their role
- The child’s relationships with parents, siblings, and anyone else who significantly affects the child’s interests
- Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing, and meaningful contact with the other parent
- The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
- The mental and physical health of everyone involved, including any history of abuse
- Either parent’s intention to relocate the child’s residence
- The child’s own wishes, obtained without coercion
Factor four is the one parents underestimate. A parent who blocks contact, speaks badly of the other parent to the child, or withholds the child from scheduled time is handing the other side evidence. Read more: the 8 factors that determine child custody in Missouri and how the best interest standard works.
The parenting plan and the Guardian ad Litem
The document that decides most custody cases
Every Missouri custody judgment includes a parenting plan. Both parents file a proposed one, and the court either adopts an agreed plan, picks the better of the two, or writes its own. The quality of your proposal is the most direct influence you have on the outcome.
What a Missouri parenting plan has to cover
Section 452.310 requires a proposed plan to address, at minimum:
- The regular weekly schedule, and the schedule for holidays, school breaks, birthdays, and summer
- How exchanges happen, including location, transportation, and who pays for it
- How decisions about education, medical care, and activities are made, and how disagreements are resolved
- Communication between the child and each parent during the other’s time
- How the costs of the child are shared: support, insurance, uncovered medical, extracurriculars, and the child support calculation
- Procedures for relocation notice and for changing the plan later
Vague plans create the enforcement fights we see later. We draft plans that are specific enough to follow without a phone call. Practical guidance: planning the co-parenting calendar and five costly mistakes in a Missouri custody case.
What a Guardian ad Litem does, and why it matters here
In contested custody cases, and in any case involving allegations of abuse or neglect, a Missouri court appoints a Guardian ad Litem (GAL): an attorney who represents the child’s best interests rather than either parent. The GAL interviews the parents and the child, visits the homes, reviews school and medical records, talks to teachers and counselors, and then reports to the court with a recommendation. Judges give that recommendation real weight because the GAL is the one neutral party who has seen everything.
David is on the approved Guardian ad Litem lists for both St. Louis County and St. Louis City family courts and is regularly appointed to that role. In cases where he represents a parent, that experience shapes the advice: he knows what a GAL looks for in a home visit, what undermines a parent’s credibility, and how a parenting plan reads to the person evaluating it. The goal is to present your case the way the court will actually examine it. Read more: what a Guardian ad Litem does in a contested case.
GAL fees are set by the court and usually split between the parents. If you are the parent who asked for the appointment, be prepared for that cost; if the other parent asked, be prepared to cooperate fully with the investigation.
How it works
From the first meeting to a parenting plan the court enters
Custody is decided in a divorce, a legal separation, or, for unmarried parents, a paternity case. The steps are the same in each.
1
Build the record early
Who has been doing the school runs, the doctor visits, the homework. We help you document the parenting you already do, which is the strongest evidence of the parenting you are asking to keep. Where the children are at risk now, a motion for temporary custody can be filed immediately.
2
Propose a plan, then negotiate
We draft a complete parenting plan built around the child’s actual week and file it. Most St. Louis area courts order mediation before a custody trial, and most plans are settled there or in direct negotiation. Both parents also complete the court’s parent education program.
3
Judgment, or trial
An agreed plan is reviewed and entered by the court. When the parents cannot agree, the case is tried, often with a GAL report in evidence, and the judge writes the plan. Either way, the judgment can later be modified if circumstances substantially change.
Related custody matters we handle. Paternity for unmarried parents, who need a paternity judgment before custody and support can be ordered. Relocation, where Missouri requires 60 days’ written notice before moving a child’s residence. Modification when a plan no longer fits a child’s age or a parent’s circumstances. Orders of protection where safety is the issue. Emancipation questions as children approach adulthood. And when a parent is not following the plan, the Family Access Motion.
Common questions
Custody questions we hear most
Do mothers automatically get custody in Missouri?
No. Missouri law prohibits the court from preferring either parent because of sex or age, and the statute now presumes equal parenting time is in the child’s interest unless shown otherwise. Fathers who have been active parents and propose a specific, realistic plan are regularly awarded joint or equal custody. See how fathers can get equal parenting time.
If we have 50/50 custody, does anyone pay child support?
Often yes. Missouri’s child support worksheet gives a credit for overnights, but it also accounts for the difference in the parents’ incomes, so the higher earner usually still pays something unless incomes are close. See 50/50 custody and child support in Missouri.
At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?
There is no age in Missouri at which a child decides. The child’s wishes are one of the eight factors, and a court gives them more weight as the child matures and shows sound reasoning, but the judge decides. Children are usually heard through the Guardian ad Litem or in the judge’s chambers rather than in open court.
What does a Guardian ad Litem do in a custody case?
The GAL is an attorney appointed to represent the child’s best interests. They interview both parents and the child, visit each home, review records, speak with teachers and providers, and report to the court with a recommendation on custody and parenting time. Cooperating fully with the GAL, and being the same parent in the interview that you are at home, matters more than almost anything else in a contested case.
How do I get full custody in Missouri?
By showing the court, with evidence, that joint custody would not serve the child: an absent parent, untreated substance abuse, domestic violence, neglect, or a pattern of undermining the child’s relationship with you. The presumption of shared time has to be rebutted with facts, not preferences. A parent seeking sole custody should expect a GAL appointment and should build the record before filing.
The parenting plan you propose is the case you make. Build it well.
If custody or parenting time is in question in St. Louis, in a divorce, a separation, a paternity case, or a modification, call or reach out online to schedule a confidential consultation. We will talk through your children’s week and what a plan built around it looks like.
This page provides general information and is not legal advice. Every case is different, and outcomes depend on specific facts and circumstances. David Betz is on the approved Guardian ad Litem lists of the St. Louis County and St. Louis City family courts; the courts take no position on the relative skills of listed attorneys. See all family law practice areas.