Steps to Take if Your Ex Violates a Child Custody Agreement

Here are some practical steps you can take if your ex violates your custody agreement:

1. Document Every Violation

Keep detailed records each time your ex breaks the custody order. This includes:

• Missed exchanges or late drop-offs
• Keeping your child beyond the agreed-upon time
• Denying your scheduled visitation
• Attempts to interfere with your relationship with your child

Save text messages, emails, and note dates, times, and descriptions. This documentation is crucial evidence if you need to take legal action.

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2. Review Your Custody Order

Sometimes misunderstandings happen because custody agreements aren’t clearly understood. Review your parenting plan and court order to make sure you’re fully aware of each party’s rights and responsibilities.

If you’re unsure, we can help you interpret the language and explain what’s enforceable under Missouri law.

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3. Attempt Calm Communication

When safe and appropriate, try to resolve the issue directly with your ex. A respectful conversation may prevent future problems. However, avoid heated exchanges that could escalate conflict or be used against you later.

Keep all communication polite and in writing whenever possible—this creates a record of your attempts to resolve issues.

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4. Contact Your Attorney

If violations continue or if your ex refuses to cooperate, it’s time to seek professional legal support. Your attorney can:

• Communicate formally with your ex or their lawyer
• Send a demand letter reminding them of their legal obligations
• Prepare to file a motion for enforcement with the court

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5. File for Enforcement or Contempt

Missouri courts take custody orders seriously. If your ex repeatedly violates the agreement, your attorney can file a Family Access Motion or a Motion for Contempt.

This may result in:

• Make-up parenting time
• Modifications to the custody order
• Your ex is being ordered to pay your legal fees
• In severe cases, fines or other penalties

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6. Focus on Your Child’s Best Interests

Above all, keep your child’s well-being at the center of every decision you make. Avoid putting them in the middle of disputes or speaking negatively about your ex in their presence. Courts tend to favor parents who prioritize their child’s emotional well-being.