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Steps to Take if Your Ex Violates a Child Custody Agreement

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If your ex is violating your custody agreement, you don’t have to handle it alone.

When you’ve worked hard to establish a child custody agreement, it’s incredibly stressful—and often heartbreaking—if your ex chooses to ignore it. Violations of custody orders can disrupt your child’s routine, strain your co-parenting relationship, and even put your child’s well-being at risk.

At The Betz Law Firm, we understand how emotional these situations can be. As experienced St. Louis family law attorneys, we’re here to help you protect your parental rights and your child’s best interests.

Here are some practical steps you can take if your ex violates your custody agreement:

1. Document Every Violation

Keep detailed records each time your ex breaks the custody order. This includes:

  • Missed exchanges or late drop-offs
  • Keeping your child beyond the agreed-upon time
  • Denying your scheduled visitation
  • Attempts to interfere with your relationship with your child

Save text messages, emails, and note dates, times, and descriptions. This documentation is crucial evidence if you need to take legal action.

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2. Review Your Custody Order

Sometimes misunderstandings happen because custody agreements aren’t clearly understood. Review your parenting plan and court order to make sure you’re fully aware of each party’s rights and responsibilities.

If you’re unsure, we can help you interpret the language and explain what’s enforceable under Missouri law.

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3. Attempt Calm Communication

When safe and appropriate, try to resolve the issue directly with your ex. A respectful conversation may prevent future problems. However, avoid heated exchanges that could escalate conflict or be used against you later.

Keep all communication polite and in writing whenever possible—this creates a record of your attempts to resolve issues.

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4. Contact Your Attorney

If violations continue or if your ex refuses to cooperate, it’s time to seek professional legal support. Your attorney can:

  • Communicate formally with your ex or their lawyer
  • Send a demand letter reminding them of their legal obligations
  • Prepare to file a motion for enforcement with the court

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5. File for Enforcement or Contempt

Missouri courts take custody orders seriously. If your ex repeatedly violates the agreement, your attorney can file a Family Access Motion or a Motion for Contempt.

This may result in:

  • Make-up parenting time
  • Modifications to the custody order
  • Your ex is being ordered to pay your legal fees
  • In severe cases, fines or other penalties

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6. Focus on Your Child’s Best Interests

Above all, keep your child’s well-being at the center of every decision you make. Avoid putting them in the middle of disputes or speaking negatively about your ex in their presence. Courts tend to favor parents who prioritize their child’s emotional well-being.

How The Betz Law Firm Can Help

At The Betz Law Firm, we know that child custody issues are deeply personal and emotionally charged. Our team takes pride in offering compassionate, individualized legal support to help you navigate these stressful situations with confidence. Whether your ex is ignoring court-ordered visitation, repeatedly interfering with your parenting time, or outright denying your rights, we can step in to protect your interests.

As experienced St. Louis family law attorneys, we handle enforcement actions, contempt filings, and custody modifications to ensure that your child’s well-being remains the top priority. Let us advocate for you and work toward a resolution that safeguards your relationship with your child.