At The Betz Law Firm, we understand how important it is for families to feel supported during this time of year.
The holiday season can be one of the most meaningful times of the year — filled with traditions, family gatherings, and moments children remember for a lifetime. For parents who share custody, the season may also bring scheduling challenges, emotional stress, and questions about how to create a peaceful experience for everyone involved.
With some planning, communication, and patience, many co-parents can help their children enjoy the holidays with stability.
1. Start With the Parenting Plan — and Review It Early
Missouri parenting plans typically outline holiday schedules in detail, but each family’s situation is unique. Reviewing your plan early can help you avoid last-minute conflicts and give both parents time to coordinate:
- Confirm which parent has specific holidays this year
- Review exchange times, pick-up locations, and travel details
- Discuss any gaps, questions, or unclear sections ahead of time
If something in the plan no longer works for your family, early communication may make temporary adjustments easier to navigate.
2. Set a Positive Tone for Communication
The holidays are often high-emotion for both parents. Creating a calm and respectful tone can help keep conversations manageable and productive. Consider:
- Using text or email for clarity when emotions feel high
- Keeping messages focused on logistics rather than past conflicts
- Offering reasonable solutions when plans shift
Children benefit when parents maintain an environment centered on cooperation rather than tension.
3. Prioritize Your Child’s Experience
While both parents want meaningful time during the holidays, the season tends to go more smoothly when decisions are centered on your child’s well-being. Ask:
- What traditions are most important to them?
- How can both parents support consistency and comfort?
- Are there ways to share traditions between homes?
Even small gestures — such as sending a favorite toy, outfit, or holiday book — can help your child feel at ease when transitioning between homes.
4. Be Flexible When Possible
Life happens. Weather changes, extended family visits run long, or a child becomes sick. When flexibility is approached with goodwill, it can reduce conflict and build trust between co-parents.
Flexibility doesn’t mean giving up your time — it means working together to find solutions that keep the season running smoothly.
5. Share Holiday Information in Advance
Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. You can support that by coordinating:
- Gift plans
- School holiday events
- Special activities or traditions
- Photos and updates
Sharing a few details can help both parents stay connected to their child’s experience — and reduce misunderstandings.
6. Create New Traditions Without Pressure
The holidays after a separation or divorce may feel different, and that’s completely normal. Rather than trying to recreate the past, consider creating new, low-stress traditions such as:
- Baking cookies together
- Walking through a local light display
- Having a small holiday movie night
- Making a handmade ornament each year
These moments can be just as meaningful — and sometimes even more so — than past traditions.
7. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Co-parenting during the holidays can bring unexpected emotions. Supporting your own well-being helps you stay grounded and present for your children. This might include:
- Setting reasonable boundaries
- Seeking support from friends or family
- Taking time for rest or reflection
A calmer parent often means a calmer holiday season.
When Holiday Conflicts Require Guidance
Even with the best intentions, disagreements may arise. If you have concerns about your parenting plan, holiday scheduling, or your child’s well-being, you may benefit from speaking with a family law attorney who understands the unique needs of St. Louis families.
The Betz Law Firm is locally owned and personally committed to helping families navigate transitions with clarity and care. Our team remains available throughout the holiday season should questions or urgent issues arise.