What is Discernment Counseling and How Can It Help?

When your marriage has a lot of issues, but you and your spouse still want to fight to keep it alive, you may go see a marriage counselor. When both of you are done fighting and ready to move on, you generally file for divorce.

But what happens when you’re not sure which of the two is the right decision? Or when the spouses have entirely different views on the subject?

There may be an answer to that: discernment counseling.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment counseling is a form of counseling that helps couples understand their relationship better so that they can know if they should give it another shot or part ways entirely. A relationship specialist will guide you and your spouse towards a common answer.

The methods used in this form of therapy can be different, but they generally involved both parties openly discussing how they feel about their lives, relationships, dynamics, etc.

The Benefits of Discernment Counseling

Ending a relationship is difficult, even if one party has decided what they want to do. Discernment counseling can create a safe space where both spouses can hear each other, and understand where both are coming from.

Because the sessions are guided by an expert, both sets of opinions can be equally verbalized, which in real life may not always happen as one spouse can easily take over the conversation. The result of the counseling, however, is always up to the spouses – they will inevitably decide if they want to try again, or part ways.

It Is Not Marriage Counseling

It’s important not to confuse discernment counseling with marriage counseling. In the latter, the partners work towards fixing their relationship, and the counselor may have a more active approach in helping them do it – role play, home exercises, advice, etc. Generally, the therapist will try to identify the root of the problem (lack of communication, feelings of neglect, etc.), and design their sessions to address it.

In discernment counseling, on the other hand, the counselor generally does not try to help the couple fix their issues. More, they try to make sure all viewpoints are expressed and heard, so that in the end the couple can amicably reach a conclusion.

Is It for You?

That’s difficult to say. Sometimes, one of the spouses can be very sure of the path they want to take. Still, discernment counseling can still be beneficial because by allowing them to communicate, they can preserve a better relationship regardless of what happens next. And in case the children are also involved, maintaining a good relationship with the other parent is essential.

St. Louis Divorce Attorneys

Are you considering filing for divorce? If there are also custody matters in play, then you may need the assistance of an experienced St. Louis family lawyer. At The Betz Law Firm we can help make sure the process goes as fast as possible, without creating additional pain. Give us a call today at (314) 801-8488.