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Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First?

Depending on your circumstances, taking the first step and filing for divorce may put you at an advantage and give you better control over the outcome of the separation.

It’s odd to talk about getting the upper hand when it comes to a life moment so sensitive and complicated as divorce. However, having an advantage over your soon to be ex-spouse can save you a lot of emotional and financial stress.

You may think that it’s really not that important who files for divorce first as the outcome is the same regardless: you get separated from your partner. However, here is how making the first step can potentially benefit you.

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Fair Guardian Ad Litem who has walked a tightrope of a custody case
I was very impressed with Mr. Betz’s service. He was the GAL for my children. He was very professional, fair-but-caring and advocated tireless for the children’s best interests. He took his time to talk to them about their wishes, giving us sound advice and guided us through an otherwise contentious process. I appreciated his professionalism, ethics and would highly recommend him.
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David was phenomenal in helping me secure protection and safety for myself and my daughter during the divorce and custody case. We ultimately prevailed at the end with 100% custody and a judgement in favor of the petitioner for support, with heavy stipulations in place for visitation. David by your side in the courtroom is a sure fire win. Place your bets on Betz!
David was super helpful in getting all of my questions answered. He was kind and patient while I explained the situation I was dealing with, and outlined numerous options and avenues that I had as choices. He didn't sugar coat things and was honest where he thought struggles would appear in the case, and talked through best and worst case scenarios. He also was nice enough to offer additional phone calls if more questions came up while choosing how to move forward with the case. I would highly recommend talking to David about your case if you need a family lawyer, as it's obvious that he is kind, and extremely knowledgeable about family law and the complications it can involve.
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David Betz took the time to answer all of my questions and was very kind, thoughtful, considerate, and most importantly of all knowledgeable. I very much appreciated his time and help!
The staff is very professional and friendly and comforting to their clients (the children). They definitely put us all at ease during an uncomfortable time.David himself is very easy to talk to, and both of my kids really liked him. I am very impressed with their involvement in our case. He has been easy to work with and good at getting back to us in a timely manner with issues regarding our case.I would highly recommend his office to anyone in need of legal help for their children.10 months later...I wanted to add, we have been in this case for 22 months and it’s about to wrap up. David has been amazing. My 16 year old daughter had kind of lost her faith in the system and in adults - David really worked with her and helped hold her accountable, but also gave her a voice, great advice, and really won her over. She really trusts him. When she was struggling, she would ask to call David. When I was struggling with her, I would threaten to call David and she would become more agreeable. She really trusts and respects him. Which for me, takes a unique skill set. Not everyone can get an unhappy teen to comply and also still keep their trust and respect. My son loved David too. Both kids looked forward to our apts with David. Which when you are fighting a child support/ custody case and your drained, it’s so nice to have parts of the process be so easy and helpful. And that’s what we got from David and his staff.David has offered to be available if he can help after the case with questions or getting a teenager in line. They were understanding and more than fair with my payment options. Joel, his assistant- is a joy to talk to and prompt to respond and he chatted with the kids and put them at ease in a very uncomfortable situation. I can’t say enough good things about them.We drive past their office every day on the way to school and my daughter said she wanted to stop by and take David a Christmas present. That’s pretty impressive for a 16 year old.They really made a very unbearable situation so much better; David even made us smile and laugh during a very nerve wracking time.I would highly recommend them to anyone. Definitely 5 plus stars!
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I retained David Betz for my divorce and very happy with how things turned out. David and his team went straight to work and kept me updated every step of the way. If you looking for someone to get the job done, then look no further. Thank You David and Joel for all you have done for me!!
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You Have the Time to Find the Right Lawyer

If your spouse files first, you will be served papers. Missouri law then gives you 30 days to respond. This often leaves a person scrambling to find a lawyer to take on their case. If you file first, you will have the time you need to find a St. Louis divorce attorney who will represent your best interests and help you achieve the best possible outcome.

You Have Time to Gather All the Needed Documents

A divorce is a bureaucratic hassle. If your partner files first, then you will spend time and money trying to gather all the financial and legal documents required. If your spouse refuses to provide some of them, then things can get overly complicated and costly.

If you file first, then you will have enough time to prepare all the documents needed and save yourself money and your mental sanity.

You May Have the First Choice of Court

Divorces are filed for and settle in the jurisdiction both or one of the spouses live in. If you have property both in Missouri and Florida, for example, you may be surprised to learn the differences in the law regarding child custody, division of assets, spousal support, and so on. Moreover, if your partner moved to another state and they file for divorce first, then you will likely have to follow the laws of that jurisdiction. All that can work to your disadvantage. 

You Have Time to Prepare Yourself Emotionally

Filing for divorce first comes with emotional benefits too. If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship, taking the first step can feel empowering. You have the time to come to terms with the fact that your marriage ended and take action. Instead of reacting to your spouse filing first, you are in control of your own life and destiny. And, you need that kind of mindset during a difficult and stressful period like a divorce.

Speak With an Attorney

There will be lots of variables that you can’t control or foresee. Taking the first step and filing for divorce may put you at an advantage and give you better control over the outcome of the separation.

Discuss the pros and cons of filing for divorce first with an experienced St. Louis family law lawyer and decide together what your next move should be. Give The Betz Law Firm a call today at (314) 801-8488

The Betz Law Firm

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